Angel With a Shotgun
by grayzone
Summary: When you didn't even know you needed an angel is when one usually appears. For Sam he never knew how much he wanted what Dean and Cas had until his life got a countdown clock. The Winchester brothers are about to meet an angel whom Castiel kept hidden for unknown reasons. Will she be able to help Sam defeat his fate and keep his life; while also giving them both something they need
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello you wonderful readers! I just got my new computer and couldn't be happier! Hopefully my desire to write and my motivation will now return. Tonight it came back for a brief moment in the form of this story! This story will be a bit off canon not an AU but it will not follow the Supernatural storyline to a 'T'. I'm a little late to the Supernatural fandom but I love it, the openness and acceptance of everyone is something that is amazing to see and feel! This is a story I thought of after seeing all the Dean and Castiel love and wondering if Sam ever thought "where's my angel?" So yes this will be a Sam/OC story; not romantic at first but you never know. I'm always open to suggestions, themes and ideas so feel free to leave on in the Review or PM me! Hopefully you enjoy it as I'm really excited to start writing more!**

Chapter One: Who is She…

Castiel sat sandwiched between the two Winchester siblings, both wearing a look of utter concern, confusion and fear. They weren't sure where to turn or what to do and while the most logical choice was to have Cas call out to his father that option was off the table as Chuck wanted very little to do with Castiel at the moment. Castiel could feel Dean beside him raise his hand bringing his thumb and pointer finger up and squeezing the bridge of his nose desperately trying to relieve some of the stress building in his head. With a heavy sigh Castiel looked from one brother to the other before placing his hands on the table

"I may know someone who might be able to help"

Dean Winchester was a lot of things but a coward was not one of them, but hell he was beyond scared, his whole being was filled with worry and dread. He had already been to hell and back and even that situation wasn't as panic inducing as what he was faced with now. His younger brother Sam was in too deep; he had made one to many deals, made one to many enemies, had made one to many missteps. The thought of Sammy going through torture, going through pain, dying and being sent to the fiery underground was a thought that made Dean want to vomit. He had already tried switching roles, making his own deal, he had already read through every book, every notebook, had already asked and begged not only Bobby but Castiel, he had done everything and there was no light at the end of this tunnel. His whole life had been protecting Sam and now he had failed. He had let his baby brother down…let himself down…let his mother down.

Samuel Winchester never wanted to be a hunter, he never wanted this life, he wasn't someone who wanted to be chasing demons and ghost, he wanted normal, wanted a family, the mundane life; white picket fence, wife, children, dog, that was the life Sam wanted but sadly the things we want we don't usually get…especially if your name is Winchester. Sam was dragged into the hunter life and while he hated it at least he had his brother. Dean was someone Sam could always rely on, could always go to, could always count on. Being a hunter you did things, saw things that changed you forever, both for the worse and the better. Sam knew this day might come for him, it had come for his brother; Sam however lived under false hope and security that because Dean had made it out okay so would he, Sam's case was different though…and of course it would be. There would be no one coming for him. He would be beaten and tortured here on Earth, would see his life end here while his brother watched only to then be sent to the depths of Hell where he would have to endure any and everything. The worst part though wasn't that this was happening even though the situation was awful, but for Sam the worst part was having to watch his brother, watch as his brother fought to find an answer, only to come up empty and watch as guilt, shame and regret filled his hero's soul.

Both brothers snapped out of their trance at the words softly spoken by the angel. Dean was the first to respond

"wait what…who…where…couldn't have mentioned this sooner"

Castiel lowered his hands into his lap before raising one and awkwardly adjusted his tie "it just occurred to me that she may be able to help us…"

Sam placed a hand on the angel's shoulder "who is _she_ " the younger man questioned

Castiel looked away from his lap and into the eyes of the brothers

"my sister"

 **A/N: Thoughts…reviews mean the world and motivate me and push me to write and get more out for you guys! =)**


	2. Family Business

Chapter Two: Family Business

Castiel watched as Dean downed the rest of his beer before pushing himself away from the table. Castiel could feel the panic, fear, and anger flowing through the eldest Winchester. He knew that he was to blame for the anger that was raging throughout his green orbs. In truth Castiel had thought briefly about reaching out to his sister but knew he should wait until it appeared all other resources were extracted. Castiel and his sister had a bond unlike any of the other angels, it was stronger and more powerful than any relationship that the Heavens had ever seen and in true big brother fashion he wanted to protect her and shield her from things she didn't need to be concerned with. Castiel looked away from Dean his mind drifting to the last time he had been in the presence of his sister. It wasn't that long ago but it wasn't for the best of reasons. Locking eyes with Sam he knew now it was clear she was the only one capable of helping in this time of need.

"well…" Dean began "…pray to her…get her here"

Castiel tore his blue eyes away from the saddened eyes of Sam and looked towards Dean also getting to his feet

"I believe…" Castiel responded placing a hand on Deans shoulder "…that it is best we go to her"

Dean looked into the angels' eyes before tearing them away and looking at his brother, his own hazel eyes staring back at his sibling. Sam nodded and got to his feet throwing a few bills on the table "where is she"

Sitting in the back of the Impala Castiel watched as Dean's eyes stayed focused on the road only leaving every few minutes to drift over to his brother who sat hunched over a book still hopeful that they may have overlooked something; Castiel knew that while Sam put on a brave face and would constantly say that it would be alright that something would change in his favor, he could sense how fearful the young man was.

Unsure of whether to speak or not but wanting to end the awkward feeling and tension that had taken over the vehicle Castiel took a breath

"I'm sorry I withheld this information from you both"

Dean looked at the older man in the backseat through the rearview mirror, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. Was the hunter upset, yes, was the hunter angry, you bet. He didn't mind that Castiel had never mentioned this sister before…it did make him curious that he seemed more attached to her, didn't the angel have hundreds of siblings. What made the man angry, hurt and confused was that Castiel knew that there was someone that could…could possibly save his brother's life, change his fate…. help him not to endure what Dean knew and felt all too well. It hurt that his best friend kept this from him…from them, that he didn't even think about placing this option on the table. The trio with the help of every lore book and fellow hunter had spent the last three months trying and failing to find a way to push the stop button on Sam's end game countdown and here was Castiel sitting on something that could do just that. Dean was by no means putting all his eggs into one basket but the fact that they could have found her, talked to her and explored this option much…much earlier was something Dean couldn't just gloss over.

"my sister and I have a relationship unlike anything the other angels have seen…even our father is confused by it"

Dean looked back over at Sam the younger hunter picked his head up from the book and peered back at the angel

"I'm not mad Cas"

Castiel snapped his eyes over to the tall man that sat in the passenger seat "I wouldn't blame you if you where"

He watched as Sam simply shook his head his own eyes going to his brother "I get it…you were trying to protect her…shield her…only wanted to included her in a mess if it was absolutely necessary…"

Sam sat in the passenger seat as the Impala roared down the open highway. A large book sitting on his lap, his eyes gazing over each word not really taking in any piece of the text; he needed a distraction, he could feel Dean's eyes float over to him every few minutes and it was putting him on edge, he wasn't dying this very second. He let out a breath when he heard the soft voice of Castiel break the stillness that had settled within the confined space.

"let me guess…she's the baby of the family"

Castiel let a small smirk cross his lips "she is…it was my duty to look out for her…protect her…she was…is my everything the only one I can truly count on"

Sam nodded "yeah I can relate to that…" he spoke keeping his eyes on his older brother before looking back at the angel. Castiel smiled "you'll love her Sam…and I'm confident she will have answers, that she will be able to help, offer guidance"

Sam smirked back at the man who had become like a brother to him. Looking over he watched as Dean looked back at Castiel through the mirror "I get it Cas" the hunter spoke looking back at the road "being a big brother…you'll do anything for the little punks…." He spoke quickly looking over at Sam with a smirk "always finding a way to weasel their way into your heart"

Castiel looked over at his friend "indeed you do and yes...yes they do…and she has for me more times than I can count" the man spoke softly before returning his eyes to the window

Sam looked over at Dean before shrugging his shoulders "I'm sure you've done a fair amount for her as well"

Castiel brought a hand up and readjusted his tie "I could have done more" he mumbled

Three hours later the trio arrived in Lincoln Nebraska. Dean followed the directions that Cas would spill out every few moments as he worked on feeling the pull of his sister's grace.

"next right" the angel mumbled before telling Dean to pull over in front of the building that sat on the corner

"Kennedy's Bar" Dean spoke softly looking at the small wood and brick building "didn't know angels could work within the devil's watering hole"

Castiel shook his head "angels usually don't work normal jobs" he spoke his own blue orbs also focused on the building "my sister though is different…which is why father always loved her slightly more than the others" the man spoke before stopping and placing a hand on his tie once again. Looking over he watched as Sam and Dean had turned and were watching him speak "…she saw humanity as beings that were created by our father and were therefore part of him…part of what he believed in…what he saw as beautiful, it was something she wanted to study…she wanted to make sure that the people father created…" Castiel stopped his eyes drifting back to the Traven "…believed in him as much as he believed in them"

Slowly the three men made their way into the small bar. The inside was much like any other bar the siblings have visited. A few pool tables, a couple dart boards lining the walls, tables and chairs, booths in the back, low lighting and of course the bar. Dean walked in first his green eyes scanning the area. The bar wasn't overly packed but he could see that a few of the locals were present as the man behind the counter replaced drink orders and placed a beer in front of a man who had just sat down, therefore already knowing his order.

"alright Cas…where's the sis"

Castiel walked in a little further and also glanced around the small space, Dean watched as a small smile tugged at his lips and he made his way forward. Dean and Sam followed and stood a few paces behind the angel as he approached the bar, placing his hands on the wooden surface

"hey goose"

Addison stood on top of a small step stool her eyes drifting from bottle to bottle as her fingers ran over the labels making sure each was facing forward, every now and again she would scribble something in to a small notepad gripped in her hands. Placing the notebook into the back pocket of her jeans before stepping off the stool she let out a heavy sigh running a hand through her hair. Glancing at the clock she smiled only half an hour and then she was done. Her smile only grew when she heard the familiar voice utter the familiar nickname

Dean and Sam watched as Castiel spoke a large grin overtaking his face making his eyes even brighter. They then watched as a young woman turned her own blue eyes bright and full of joy, they watched as her orbs quickly glanced to them before landing back on her brother. They didn't know how it happened but one minute she was standing behind the bar and in the next she was in front of Castiel her small body pulled against his much larger one both squeezing each other with matching smirks.

"hey bugs"

Slowly pulling apart the siblings locked eyes blue on blue and it seemed as if the pair communicated for a moment before Castiel turned and pulled his sister into his side "Dean, Sam this is my sister Addison"

Sam was the first to answer "nice to meet you" Sam spoke offering his hand. Addison smiled and shook Sam's hand, Dean didn't miss how her smile seemed to weaver for a moment before her eyes quickly went to Dean

"Dean" she spoke her eyes going to her brother for second before shaking his hand as well. The pair of siblings stood awkwardly for a moment before Addison broke the unease

"go sit…there's a booth in the back corner…I'll be there in a minute" she spoke before making her way back around the bar

Sliding into the booth Sam was the first to ask the various questions that tugged within his mind "so what do we say…how do we ask…what can she even do Cas…you've told us nothing about your sister before…"

Dean held up a hand and placed the other on Sam's shoulder "breathe kiddo" he smirked, turning his eyes towards Cas "but he has a point…how do we handle this…she's your sister, we'll follow your lead"

Castiel nodded his head "she knows we're here for a reason…I informed her as much" he spoke turning his head and watching as his sister neared the table with a small tray held in her hands "she will help you Sam" the angel spoke looking over quickly at the man "she will help you"

The men watched as Addison set the tray down and smiled placing two beers in front of the Winchester boys as well as two glasses containing amber colored liquid; one in front of Cas the other in the spot she would occupy, she finished the placement by setting down a small basket of pretzels.

Once things were settled she took her position beside Castiel and smiled at the group. She watched as neither her brother or the hunters were about to start speaking so she simply placed her hands on the table, her blue eyes floating from one brother to another before resting softly on Sam

Dean wasn't sure what he was expecting when he saw Castiel's sister. To be completely honest it unnerved him slightly with how much they looked alike. She had dirty blonde hair that was more brown then blonde but he could see the natural highlights showcasing that she in her youth had, had fair colored hair, her eyes were just as blue as Cas's; like a storm over the ocean. She was dressed in a pair of skinny jeans, boots and a band t-shirt covered by a flannel and vest. It was a little comical how her brother was dressed in proper attire while she wore simple and basic wear; what wasn't funny and was very clear was the fact that these two were related, there was no doubt they were siblings not just in their similar looks but in the love, understanding and respect that was shared and felt among the two. He watched as her eyes traveled over to her own brother, before crossing his features only to rest on Sam, her eyes softening and her mouth forming a gentle and caring smile…almost like a mother looking at a child.

Sam was barley holding on. He had done well on the drive being distracted by the book and the ramblings of Castiel and Dean, he even managed to sleep for a couple hours but now that he was here, here with the person who may…may be able to save his life he was cracking. He was slowly losing the battle of resolve and he knew any moment he would come undone. He knew the minute she turned around that she was Castiel's sister, the eyes were the dead giveaway, the gentle smile, the soft and quiet looks of confusion but also the feeling he got whenever she looked at him, it filled him with peace it gave him a security he never knew he needed or wanted. He watched as she set down their drinks watched as her blue hues drifted from her brother to his before landing on him. His hazel eyes locked onto her heaven colored eyes and it was then he felt the build of emotion he was so desperately trying to keep at bay

Addison watched as Sam bit his lip, his hazel eyes growing darker as the mask he wore slowly started to fall. Pushing herself out of the booth she spoke her eyes never leaving Sam

"Cassie why don't you go show Dean your dart trick"

Castiel looked from his sister over to Sam and then quickly over to Dean before back at his sister. He watched as her eyes never left Sam almost as if she was helping him keep himself together. Looking over at the young hunter the angel could see just how broken the boy was

"yes…alright…come Dean" he replied exiting the booth as well. Dean slowly watched as his brother lowered his gaze away from Addison before looking over at the female angel. He watched as her eyes flashed over to her brother, who simply nodded before pulling Dean up and away

Once Castiel and Dean had rounded the corner and were hidden by the wall, Addison slide back into the booth and reached a hand forward placing a few fingers under Sam's chin and lifting his head allowing their eyes to lock together

"it is okay" she spoke quietly her voice firm and even but gentle and angelic

Sam tore his eyes away from Addison and listened as she spoke requesting that her brother take Dean away. She could sense the need in him, the need to succumb to his fear, his panic, his worry, his dread. It wasn't until he felt gentle fingers on his chin and his head pushed upward, it wasn't until her blue orbs seemed to flash with understanding, it wasn't until her soft voice spoke out, speaking the words he so badly wanted to believe that he finally let the tears fall.

Dean fiddled with the darts in his hands, his eyes boring into the wall that separated him from view of his brother

"Sam needed to breakdown…" Castiel spoke coming to stand in front of Dean cutting off his view of the paint and poster splatter wall

Dean's eyes jerked over locking with Castiel "what" he spoke placing the darts onto the table behind him

"Sam…he was barely holding on and Addie sensed that…she gave him a moment…a chance to express himself…lose himself…" Castiel spoke his head tilting upward "he doesn't want to show you weakness, show that he is scared…so he has been keeping himself composed and collected…" Castiel stopped and returned his gaze to his friend "she gave him the space he needed to let it out…"

Dean creased his eyebrows, his eyes flashing back to the wall, with such force all his own emotion front and center "he can tell me…show me"

Castiel shook his head "he admires you too much" the man replied also looking towards the wall "goose is the same way" he mumbled reaching up and tugging at his neck tie

Dean bit his lip and lowered his head "your sister…" Dean began not missing the way Castiel's own eyes filled briefly with regret as well as the nervous tick he recently developed in terms of touching and fiddling with his tie, the hunter took a breath before reaching for the darts, looking at the target "will she be able to help him"

Castiel watched as Dean threw a dart it hitting the upper corner many inches away from the bullseye

Sliding into place Castiel locked eyes with Dean placing a soft hand on his shoulder "she will do whatever she can" he answered as he threw the dart it hitting the tiny red center circle "I know my sister and she will not let a soul she feels is pure and true be sent to such an impure place"

It wasn't long before Sam and Addison joined Castiel and Dean who had moved to the bar, Dean nursing his beer, passing an untouched one over to his brother who nodded his head in thanks.

Addison took her spot behind the wooden plank and looked at Castiel, before over at Dean her hand laying over the one that sat balled up in a fist on the counter "Samuel says he has three weeks…"

Dean's eyes lulled over to his hand which was covered by one much smaller, much softer, he raised his eyes and locked his green orbs onto her blue before nodding, his heart increasing in speed

"well then we should get moving..."

Dean's eyes filled with confusion as a warm and gentle sensation filled his body, his heart beating slightly slower and softer, his chest tingled as he watched Addison removed her hand only to place it onto Sam's arm

"wait...what...you're going to help us…help him…you can save Sam"

Addison looked over at Castiel Dean watching as Cas's eyes became dark and he quickly and subtly shook his head

"I'm going to do all I can Dean..." she started tearing her eyes away from her brother and looking at Sam his own hazel eyes a little less fearful "…from what Samuel has told me it seems as if he is being bullied and blackmailed and well…" she quickly looked back at her brother a slight smirk gracing her lips "I don't like bullies"

Sam and Dean finished their drinks and allowed Addison to inform her boss she was taking an extended leave…personal family business are the words Dean had overheard, the brothers watched as Castiel stood guard behind his sister as she spoke to the rather odd and sweaty man that was the owner of this draft

Castiel stood a few feet behind his sister as she spoke to her employer Timothy. He didn't like the way the man looked at his sister or more importantly certain parts of his sister

"sorry Tim but I need the time…plus I've never missed a day and have covered for you more times then I care to repeat"

Timothy walked a few steps closer to Addison his eyes going dark "you're my best barhop Addie…half the crew come in just to see you"

Castiel watched as Addison smiled…a smile he knew all too well "well it's family business so you can either let me have as much time as I need and hope I come back…or I can just leave and you…"

Castiel was stunned but not surprised when Addison pulled the man in closer by the collar his shirt "…you wouldn't like that Timothy…remember I'm the one that kept you alive…"

Releasing the man Addison pulled a .45 Colt from the back of her jeans lifting it up and switching off the safety all in one fluid motion "…and I can change that rather quickly"

"Addie come on you wouldn't" Timothy spoke raising his hands and taking a small step back only for Addie to match his movements keeping the gun aimed at his head

Addison smiled her eyes drifting over to were the Winchesters sat before landing on her brother

"do you really want to feel how much salt burns when scattered on an open wound" she spoke softly her voice drifting over to the man, who simply shook his head before nodding and backing up several paces

"take as much time as you need, come back whenever yeah…"

Addison smiled and flicked the safety back on pushing the gun back into the waistband of her jeans

"thanks Timmy…" she spoke with a laugh, before turning and clapping her hands together

"whose driving"

Sam sat in the passenger seat his head resting against the cool window watching as the droplets of rain rolled slowly down the glass. His eyes drifted to his brother who seemed more relaxed and at ease, one hand on the steering wheel keeping the car steady on the empty highway his eyes and mind only on the road and getting them back to the bunker. Looking quickly in the back he watched as Addison was glued to her brothers side their hands locked together as her head rested on his shoulder, her free hand reaching up to adjust and lay Castiel's tie smooth against his shirt, Sam didn't miss the small content smile that graced the angels face. His eyes then locked onto Addison who gave the man a gentle smile that filled him with hope and freedom

The last thought he had before his mind drifted off was _'I got myself an angel'_

 **A/N: hope you liked it...next one out hopefully by the end of the week if not at some point this coming weekend! As always suggestions, ideas and themes are welcomed! Also I will explain where the nicknames came from, why Castiel and Addison have such a special bond, why Addison doesn't have an "angel name" and if there was anything else you wish to see or have insight to just let me know! Reviews mean a lot as well! Till next time!**


	3. Doing The Right Thing

Chapter Three: Doing The Right Thing

 _"_ _you don't actually believe any of that do you…"_

 _Twelve-year-old Samuel Winchester looked away from the gold lettering at the sound of his brothers' voice. Glancing back at the bold font Sam gave a simple shrug "some of it yeah…" he answered softly watching as his brother shuffled through a duffle bag that sat on his bed. He heard Dean give a dry chuckle "come on Sammy…think about it…" Sam placed the book down and stood walking over to his brothers bed and sitting on the edge of it "I do…and I did…" the younger boy cut in "and it seems nice…seems like something we could use more of in our life…" he finished his eyes boring into the comforter that covered the half made mattress. He heard Dean zip up his bag and give a soft sigh "it is nice Sammy…I'm sorry, if you want to believe you should…don't ever let me or dad or anybody out there change what you have faith in you hear me…" Sam looked up at his brother and nodded his head "good" Dean declared "come on then…lets head over to the diner across the street for some dinner…I could really use a cheeseburger" Sam smiled and stood ready to follow his brother out, stopping at the door he turned and glance at the black book one last time before smiling and knowing that deep down he was right…God…angels…they were real, if all the bad things that his father and brother chased around the state were real then surly all the good stuff had to be real as well, and he was ready for it…he would wait…he could wait but he knew one day he would see for himself, he would meet the angels, meet the big man upstairs and know that everything that was happening down here on Earth was for not…there was a reason, there was a purpose and he in the end would be able to help change the world…change the evilness and help the good shine through._

Sam jerked awake and watched as the bunker came into view. He turned and locked eyes with Addison he watched as her eyes focused on his before she blinked and gave him a soft sad smile before turning and looking out the window. Once the car had stopped no one made a motion to move or exit the vehicle. It was once again Addison who put the wheels into action

"you need to sleep" she spoke her eyes flashing over to Dean before glancing quickly over at Sam "both of you"

Dean and Sam shared a look before Dean turned and looked at the small girl who was still pushed against her brother as if he was a lifeline "we need to establish a game plan…figure out who needs to be brought in…what you need…who you need…"

Addison reached forward placing a hand on Dean's shoulder causing the man to stop in his rambling "I understand you are worried Dean…I understand you want the answers now…the problem solved and corrected…" she spoke her blue hues drifting to Sam "but…I can sense the exhaustion rolling off of you and Samuel and in truth there is nothing I need you to assist me with at this moment…" she stopped and turned looking at her brother "Cassie will fill me in on what I don't already know but then…" she stopped her eyes narrowing as Castiel looked away from her gaze "…then I will go and visit with our father"

Addison let out a sigh before placing a hand on Castiel's cheek gently rubbing the area under his eye with her thumb, she then laid a hand over his tie and smiled before turning and exiting the car. The men sat in silence for a moment before a light tapping on the passenger window made all heads jerk in the direction of the sound. Addison smirked at the boys before pointing towards the bunker "are we going in…"

Dean lead the way, pointing out and explaining each room that they passed, ending in the vast library. The men watched as Addison walked around the area her fingers lightly tracing over a few of the books and maps before glancing over at the table that was scattered with various papers, books and objects. "I see you explored all resources…" she spoke her eyes landing on the simple black book that sat slightly away from all the others. She smiled her eyes lifting and finding Sam's holding his gaze for a moment before tapping the table and organizing all the materials into small piles and categories.

"it is now time to sleep" she spoke walking towards the brothers. The siblings made no move to head off to their respected bedrooms their eyes still glued to the table and the now clearly defined stacks of papers and alphabetized books, Addison laughed "bed…now…we can do it the human way or the angel way but either way the two of you are sleeping…" she ended crossing her arms over her chest

Dean was the first to respond "human way" he yelped holding his hands up in defense "jeez she really is your sister" he spoke looking at Cas before turning and mumbling a "goodnight" before disappearing around the corner.

Sam watched his brother go before turning and looking back at the pair of angels in front of him "thank you" he spoke his eyes resting on Castiel. Castiel gave the young hunter a gentle nod and soft smile, knowing that he was giving thanks not just for asking his sister to get involved with this crisis but for being his friend and knowing, what he didn't even know at this moment. Sam then turned to Addison "I don't really know what to say…I don't think 'thank you' is enough" he watched as she once again gave him that soft and gentle smile

"it is alright Samuel…" Sam knew she was saying this not just about her willingness in coming to help him, someone she didn't even know…but also that he…his life…his fate would be alright. He watched as she took a small step forward and wrapped him in a hug. Sam smiled and lowered his body so that he could return the gesture. Sam gave a content sigh as warmth and peace seemed to flow throughout him. He was slightly disappointed when she pulled away and pushed him softly towards the hallway

"sleep" she spoke a graceful laugh falling from her lips that carried its way down the hall as if guiding Sam safety to his room.

Once the door to his room clicked closed Sam collapsed onto his bed, even though he had slept during most of the drive he was still beyond tired. He placed his hands on his stomach as his eyes floated to the ceiling. He let a soft laugh leave his lips and for the first time in months wasn't fearful about falling asleep, wasn't fearful about what tomorrow would bring, and once more as his eyes struggled to stay open he thought _'that's my angel'_

Addison watched as Samuel walked down the hall and up the stairs entering his room, making sure the door was closed and sensing that the man was laying peaceful in his bed she turned and faced her brother

"hey cricket" she spoke causing the man to smile

Castiel watched his sister embrace Sam, watched as Sam's face took on a calm and content demeanor, watched as the man smiled a true smile for the first time in months, watched as he ventured to his room and watched as his sister tilted her head listening, waiting and once sure the hunter was safely in bed, turn and lock her blue eyes onto him. He watched her as she smiled at him and uttered the nickname that only she ever called him…a nickname that was slightly different then what the other angels knew she called him…a nickname that was only for them.

"goose" he responded causing his sister to smirk, he opened his arms and allowed her to fall into him "I'm sorry for dragging you into this"

Addison squeezed her brother "come on cricket…it's what we do…what I do…plus…" she spoke pulling away and gazing down the hallway in the direction Samuel had ventured "he's still pure…still good and honest despite what the others say and I won't have one of the few that still have faith and belief fall into the depths"

Castiel let go of his sister and watched as she walked around the room stopping and picking up the black book that he had watched Sam read in hiding many times over the past few months. He watched as she smiled "dad will be happy to hear that someone still reads this"

Castiel laughed "can I let you in on a little secret…" he whispered walking over to her and taking the book from her hands "I've never finished it"

The look of horror and sadness that filled Addison's eyes made Castiel regret the words the minute they left his lips. In a blink of an eye though Addison was laughing, taking the book away from Castiel and placing it softly back on the table "and every one wonders why dad likes me more"

An hour later and Addison had been filled in on what had transpired three months ago. Castiel watched as the wheels in her mind started to spin, putting pieces of the puzzle together, finding new pieces and disregarding others

"this isn't just Lucy" she mumbled glancing up and looking at Castiel "it doesn't seem like him…well it does but there has to be someone else I hope there is someone else…or at least another reason…a motive"

Castiel nodded. He knew their brother Lucifer was evil…was always out for his best interest but this did feel a little off even for him. Addison stood and walked around the table of newly arranged papers and books. She placed a hand on hip narrowing her eyes "they already had one Winchester and it didn't work out…why even try for the other" she mumbled reaching forward and picking up a small notebook and flipping through, stopping on a page with scribbled red ink

 _'_ _The Seven Deadly Sins…'_

"they actually think these have something to do with it…I mean you never know if Lucy is involved but still…" she spoke handing the book to her brother "wasn't that a premise for a movie awhile back…" she drifted off her head tilting upwards and her eyes holding a look that Castiel knew all too well…

Appearing in Samuels room Addison watched as the man was in the midst of a night terror. She watched as his hands balled into fist and the covers slipped off the side of the bed. Walking forward she took a seat by the man's head and slowly and softly ran her fingers through his sweaty and disheveled hair. Her thoughts drifting to a time when her father did this with her after a horrible flying lesson with Gabriel…she remembered the way his fingers seemed to ease her tears, make her mind peaceful and free once again. Without another thought Addison began to hum a soft and gentle tune her fingers combing through not only the mess of hair but the mess in his mind. She glanced down as words replaced the hum and watched as his breathing even outed and his face relaxed, all traces of worry, fear and stress slipping away. Once sure the young hunter was at peace, did she stand, reaching for the blanket and gently laid it over him, looking down at the man she smiled and brushed away a piece of hair that had fallen over his forehead

"it will be alright Samuel"

Addison smiled as her feet landed on the wooden floor she knew all too well. She glanced around the room and smirked when she felt him come to stand behind her

"hey daddy" she whispered turning and crashing into the man. She smiled deeper as she heard him chuckle and lift her gently off the ground

"hey rabbit"

Addison sat down on the sofa and watched as her father pulled two beers out of the fridge. He walked over to her handing her one before taking a seat in the arm chair watching as she looked at the beer then back to him before shaking her head and changing her beer into an old fashion

"you always were my old fashion"

Addison laughed "not old fashioned just…" she stopped and looked at her father their blue eyes the spitting image of one another "…are people treating you okay….and before you ask you know which _you_ I'm referring to"

Chuck took a sip of is beer and looked at his youngest child…she was the baby of the group and was in fact his only daughter. That is why some of the other angels assumed he loved her more…but in reality it was more than that…he loved her more yes there was no doubt about that but it was because she loved him more…believed in him more…trusted him more…knew more than the others…had seen more than the others…

"they…they are losing faith…" he spoke quietly watching her face closely, watching the way her eyes darkened "they are not seeing me as good or…or being there for them anymore… they only see what it is wrong with the world and placing the blame where…"

"where it doesn't belong" she cut in slamming her drink down on the table and getting to her feet pacing the room, her hands running through her hair "the blame isn't yours to bear" she spoke walking over to her father and kneeling in front of the man placing a gentle hand on his breaded cheek. She watched as her father's eyes glistened slightly before he placed a hand over hers

"Addie…"

He watched as she shook her head "no" she spoke "I will not sit by and let people speak negatively about you…"

Getting to her feet she looked out the window at the vast wilderness and smiled, she always loved where her father chose to live once he came to Earth "people don't want to take reasonability, don't want to admit to their own wrong doings, don't want to wear the weight of guilt or shame so they use your name to do it and it's not right dad…I can't stand it…or stand for it…"

Chuck got to his feet and approached his child placing a hand on her shoulder and turning her to face him her own eyes shining with unshed tears "it's alright kiddo" he whispered pulling her into him and placing a gentle hand on her head while the other rubbed circles on her back

"there are still people who believe in you…" she spoke her voice muffled by his shirt

Chuck smirked before letting a soft chuckle leave his mouth "that is why you're here…"

"I did want to see you" she replied also smirking "but since we're on the topic…"

Chuck pulled her back to the sofa and sat down "yes…I'm aware of a one Sam Winchester"

Addison watched as her father picked up a book and handed it to her, her eyes glanced over the cover which was printed in simple writing

 _'_ _Angels and their Charges…'_

Looking back at her father he gestured to the book and she opened it flipping through the first few pages. In the book there was every angel; their name written in solid black on one side of the page while in gold lettering on the opposite side was the name of what Addison could only assume was every human

"it's in alphabetic order" she heard her father speak causing her to quickly look at him

Flipping to the front pages she watched as her name was scribbled onto the left hand side and on the opposite side there in perfect gold writing was one Samuel Winchester. Addison narrowed her eyes and looked back at her father before flipping a couple more pages and finding Castiel's name with Dean Winchester on the opposite side

"I don't understand..." she began softly "so I was in charge of him this whole time…why wasn't I told…do any of them know they are in charge of these people and their lives…their souls"

Chuck took the book and placed it back onto the table "the angel has to find their charge in their own time, the charge also has to be ready to see, feel and accept the help and guidance of the angel"

Addison nodded her head, it grew still for a moment neither father or daughter saying anything "he's one of the good one's dad" Addison spoke her eyes resting on her drink as peels of water dripped down the glass

"I can't save him Addie…that…it has to be you and you know that…"

Addison smirked "I know…but you don't have any insight for me in that million-year-old brain"

Chuck stood and pulled Addison up with him "you already know who's to blame rabbit…as much as you want to see good in him there just isn't anymore…"

Addison gave a sad smile "I still have faith in him dad…and I think what he wants is for you to have faith in him as well"

"love you Addie but after what he did it is hard for me to have faith in him anymore…son or not"

Addison locked eyes with her father the memory hitting her harder then she thought it would. Slowly she felt her father wrap his arms around her "go back to them…back to Castiel, find Lucy, fix this…you will save Sam Winchester and maybe even your fallen brother along the way"

Addison gripped onto her father and nodded her head "…I thought you said there was no good left in him…"

Chuck pulled away and held onto his daughter's shoulders connecting their eyes "if anyone can bring him back into the light it will be you…you always find a way…always do what needs to be done…always do the right thing" he spoke with a sad smile. This was one of the many reasons he loved her so much, she would do whatever was needed to save and protect those she loved, those that needed her and he was fearful that one day it would catch up with her and he would lose her forever.

Addison smiled reaching up and once again placing a gentle hand on her father's cheek

"love you daddy"

Chuck pulled away and kissed his daughter on the forehead before taking a step back he smiled as Addison spread her wings and with one last smirk she spoke as the room gave way

"just so you know Cassie said he never finished your book"

Arriving back at the bunker Addison found all the boys in the kitchen. Her eyes landed on Samuel watching as the man slowly lifted his cup of coffee shallowing the warm liquid his eyes finding hers as well "morning" he mumbled, she nodded in response

"how was father" Castiel spoke causing his sister to snap her eyes over to him

Her eyes darkened for a moment before replying "he is…fine"

Castiel knew better then to question the matters of their father in front of the Winchesters, but would not let the vague answer pass by unspoken

"well…did he say anything about Sam…" Dean cut in his eyes flashing from one angel to the other

Addison looked quickly between the Winchesters before her eyes locked back onto her own brother

"uh yeah…" she began knowing Castiel would not like the words that came next

Castiel stood knowing what was coming he took a step forward "no…no goose…not after the last time"

Addison gave a sad smile "it's the only way…." she spoke quietly looking towards Samuel

"I need to find Lucifer"

 **A/N: hopefully you liked it. Already working on the next one. Should Lucifer be there...I think he will. Nickname explanations and flashbacks will also happen; please feel free to let me know if there are questions you want answered. As always input, suggestions and ideas are always welcomed. Reviews and such mean the world!**


	4. Lost Boy

Chapter Four: Lost Boy

 _"_ _promise me"_

 _Crowley looked into the blue eyes of the young angel, his own brown orbs drifting towards the direction she had flashed her gaze unto. He watched as her oldest brother and their father shouted back and forth at one another. Crowley knew the argument had already been won, by the Almighty. He slowly nodded his head_

 _"_ _I need to hear you say it…you are his friend…" she spoke her voice holding a small amount of uncertainty her eyes showing the same…how had an angel and a demon become friends…she hated to think what her brother was truly up to when he vanished for undisclosed periods of time "…and I need to know you will protect him, make sure he doesn't…doesn't stray too far…"_

 _Crowley noticed how she still favored the left side of her body, her wing had healed but it was still sore and she would be unable to fly for at least another month. He bit his lip and looked away from the small angel who in her own way had become like a sister to him, he hated how all this affected her…_

 _"_ _I promise…" he spoke before quickly looking towards his friend and wondering how he let himself get into this situation to begin with "…but can I ask" he finished looking back at the girl "why…why do you care what happens to him or what he does, after everything he did here to your father, your brothers…to you..."_

 _Addison watched for another moment as her father placed a hand on her brother's shoulder, from here she could see just how much Lucifer hurt, just how much he didn't want to be sent away, just how much he wanted…needed…begged for a second chance_

 _"_ _he is my brother" she stated her voice firm and even "I love him…I will always love him and I will always have faith in him…" she finished a little softer "and I will do whatever I can to help him heal…to help him become who I know he truly is…who he has always been" she looked up into the demon's chocolate brown eyes "he's not as bad as everyone makes him out to be…he's…he's just a little broken…"_

 _Crowley looked over and watched as Lucifer nodded his head at something spoken by his father before his eyes lifted and locked onto his little sister. He noticed how his blue eyes softened and took on a glazed look before gesturing for Crowley to come forward. Taking off Crowley stopped and turned moving back towards Addison, he placed a soft hand on her shoulder locking his eyes with hers_

 _"_ _I will do my best little angel"_

Lucifer sat in the back of a little off the road diner a warm cup of coffee clasped in his hands. From here he could see the parking lot and watched as rain clouds slowly started to drift in. He smirked slightly wondering if his father knew about the meeting that was about to take place and was setting the mood for them. Lifting the cup to his lips he shallowed the black liquid and licked his lips placing the cup slowly back on the table as headlights poured through the blinds.

Dean and Sam stood outside of the library both leaning against the wall, Dean resting his head on the cool stone while Sam's head was bowed his eyes boring into his boots. He heard Castiel stop in his pacing for a moment before the gentle voice of Addison floated towards his ears. He closed his eyes and took a shaky breath; it was because of him that Castiel and Addison were at odds, it was because of him Addison had to find and speak with Lucifer, a task that Castiel was none too pleased about. Raising his head, he caught his brothers eye and watched as Dean bit his lip and peeked into the now still library

"you are more than welcome to come in…it is your home and it regards your life"

Sam looked at Dean as Addison's voice drifted through the archway, the older man shrugged his shoulders and turned entering the large room. Sam followed and watched as Castiel stood in front of Addison his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes never leaving her small frame. Sam went and sat beside the girl feeling the need to offer or show some kind of support…gratitude

"what's the word Cas"

Sam watched as Dean spoke looking towards his best friend. Looking over at the older angel he noticed how human Castiel looked; his eyes filled with worry and fear, his shoulders held firm but carrying the weight of the world. This was his sister and she was about to go and talk with Lucifer who while indeed was their brother was often unpredictable and unkind...two things both the Winchesters and Castiel knew all too well

"I will not sit back and let you go alone…this is Lucifer Addie…Lucifer"

Addison smirked "that's right Cassie…it's Lucy…and he's our brother…I do not fear him"

Castiel dropped his hands and walked forward kneeling in front of his twin…his soul…his everything "you may not fear him…" he stopped connecting their eyes "…for reasons I will never understand but he needs to be feared goose…you… _you_ know what he can do…"

Addison placed a gentle hand on Castiel's tie, smoothing the silk fabric "we all know that was an accident"

"was it" Castiel interrupted his voice bouncing off the stone walls

Addison smiled at her brother "I will let you come…all of you if that is what you want…but" she spoke placing her hand on Castiel's cheek "I'm going to speak with him…"

Turning she dropped her hand and looked over at Samuel placing her hand on his arm "I will figure this out…your life…."

Sam watched as she tilted her head as if putting the final pieces together, she then dropped her gaze looking straight into his eyes "is not over yet"

Lucifer wasn't surprised that the black Impala came to a stop in front of the eatery, he knew Castiel wouldn't allow Addison to come alone. Always the protective older brother, gripping the cup he stared down into the dark swirls of his coffee hatred filling his soul. It lasted a mere moment until the soft angelic sound pulled him away from his inner turmoil

"hey there comet"

Lucifer smirked instantly going back to his childhood and remembering the first time Addison had come up with that ridiculous nickname

Standing he opened his arms allowing his baby sister to be engulfed in his body "hey squirt" he mumbled kissing her on the top of the head

Addison pulled away placing a hand on Lucifer's cheek "I've missed you"

Lucifer leaned into the touch, he too had missed his sister terribly he remembered the first time he got to hold her, how much he loved her from the very moment he heard her cry, how he knew he would protect her, would never let harm come to her, how life as he knew it had changed but changed for the better…his life now had meaning…

"I've missed you" he replied stepping away and taking his seat back in the booth gesturing for her to do the same "where are the boys" he spoke looking around the dimly lit room

"in the car" she spoke her eyes drifting towards the window "no need for them to be here"

Lucifer nodded his head his own eyes going towards the parked vehicle; he could feel Castiel watching his every move. He wondered if his brother was nervous about this little chat and if he was nervous that his perfect relationship with Addison could be ruined with one slip of the tongue. Looking away from the rain splash glass he smirked at the petite girl in front of him

"so…. Sam Winchester…"

The drive to the diner was long and quiet, Addison sat in the back her hand clasped in-between Castiel's her brother had been strangely mute since her declaration of coming to speak with their older brother. She chalked it up to him not liking the idea especially since the man once inhabited Castiel's body and made him do unspeakable things. Reaching over she gripped the man's face and turned him so that their eyes connected, she smiled and placed a hand on his cheek, before nodding and seeing a ghost of a smile on his lips. She dropped her hand and looked back out her own window

As the diner came into view she let go of Castiel's hand and placed a hand over the simple necklace that dangled over her chest "it would be best if you all wait in the car"

Before any of the boys could counter attack she held up a hand "it wasn't a suggestion…it would be best if you all wait here" she finished as Dean parked the car in front of the mom and pop restaurant "I will be fine" she spoke looking towards the younger Winchester

Turning she looked at her brother with a smirk "I'll give Lucy your best" and with that she was gone

Addison stood from the table, the conversation went exactly how she had pictured it, she knew there was only one way around it and she didn't know why she thought Lucifer would change the rules for her. She looked towards the window and watched as Castiel had emerged from the car and was standing awkwardly in front of it

"well then…" Addison spoke quietly looking back at her brother. He too was looking out the window his own blue eyes locked onto those of his younger brother. Addison placed a gentle hand on his arm making him snap back to reality and out of the memory that was playing within his mind. Lucifer turned and smiled at her

"you and Cassie still as close as ever I take it…"

Addison smirked "I love you just the same and you know that"

Lucifer nodded his head; his eyes filling with an emotion Addison couldn't place her finger on. With a heavy sigh Lucifer pulled her into a hug "I'm sorry" he mumbled against her hair kissing her gently. Pulling away he smiled, pushing her softly towards the door "I'll see you soon" he spoke with a wave and Addison couldn't help but laugh despite the situation

"oh…" he called as she placed a hand on the door "tell Cassie something for me will you…"

Lucifer watched sadly from the booth as his sister climbed back into the car followed by Castiel, slowly the Impala started and roared away from gavel lot. Gripping his cup, he downed the rest of the now cold coffee and stared into the emptiness of the glass

"well…that could have gone a variety of ways"

Without looking up Lucifer shook his head as his friend slid into the vacant spot in front of the man

"it's not supposed to go this way…she's not supposed to be involved…why Castiel would bring her in when he knows… _knows_ it could only end one way"

Crowley looked at his friend and for the first time saw him as the man he truly was…

"we all know how Addie is" he spoke his British accent soft and quiet "she will do what she thinks is right regardless of how it affects her"

Lucifer looked away from his hands "but she is my sister and she is the only one that still sees me as… _as me_ and now she will think…will think…"

"think what" Crowley cut in glancing around the room "that you are as evil as everyone else does..." he spoke looking back at his broken friend "well I'm sorry to inform you but she doesn't…she never saw it and she never will"

Lucifer looked out the window staring at the spot the Impala once was. His mind reeling back to when Addison was younger and would come running to him and not Castiel

"I need to speak with my father"

 **A/N: next one out the end of the week hopefully. Sneak Peek: Lucifer speaks with his father, we find out some family secrets, what Lucifer wanted Castiel to know and maybe some more flashbacks and a little more Sam and Addison interaction. Anything you want to see let me know! Also thinking about doing a one shot type deal with one on one character interactions first would be Sam and Addison or maybe Addison and Dean. Thoughts…ideas, suggestions let me hear them!**


	5. Arsonist Lullabye

Chapter Five: Arsonist's Lullabye

Lucifer glanced around the small room, it was clutter of papers and books but in the center held a small desk with a laptop and overflowing stacks of various notebooks and journals. His blue eyes landed on a small photo and he couldn't help the smile that fell onto his lips as he took in his little sister who was sandwiched between Gabriel and Balthazar, the three of them covered in some sort of neon paint, a prank by Gabriel gone wrong. He remembers the day clearly and softly chuckles at the memory. Gabriel could always get Addison to work alongside him…Lucifer lowered his gaze from the picture as his smile faltered…there was a time when Addison would follow him to the ends of Heaven…a time when she would work alongside him, be his partner, his ally…what had gone wrong…Lucifer shook his head… _nothing_ …nothing had gone wrong…he did what was right…what was true…what any big brother would do and in the end it got him where…here without his sister, without his brothers, without his father…without his home…it got him the title of most feared man in the world…it got him the name Satan and it got him nowhere… _alone_ …that was where this all landed him…alone.

"what do you want me say Lucy…"

Lucifer glanced up as his father entered the room placing a beer in front of his son, he took his seat on the opposite side of the desk and placed his own beer down blocking the photograph in the process. Lucifer looked at his father and ran a hand down his face

"it's Addison dad…"

Chuck nodded his head and locked his eyes onto his oldest son "exactly…it's Addison…so why are you going on with this game of cat and mouse…"

Lucifer looked away "it's not a game…it's what needs to happen, the Winchesters played with fire and sadly this time they got burned"

"STOP…" Chuck shouted causing the lights in the already dim room to flicker and the small home to shake for a moment. Lucifer watched with stunned eyes as his father stood his form illuminated with a slight glow. With a deep breath Chuck regained himself slowly easing back into his chair "I will not have any more of this Lucifer"

Rising his eyes, he watched as his son had his head bowed his eye focused on something held within his hands

"she is my only daughter…your only sister and you know the lengths she will go to protect the hunter"

Lucifer looked up locking his blue eyes with his father's orbs. It was then Chuck watched as Lucifer shoved the simple stone gently back into his pocket, the older man's eyes softened for a moment as the memory flashed throughout his mind

"why are you doing this Lucy…be honest with me…"

Lucifer shook his head and stood walking towards the bay window that overlooked the forest "I'm in too deep dad…"

Lucifer watched the swaying of the trees as the cold wind blew throughout the wildness. He closed his eyes and slid his hand into his pocket letting his fingertips gaze the smooth surface of the stone

"I can't undo what has been done, what is already set into motion…I…I just wanted…."

Chuck stood and walked towards his son, even with all the anger, all the pain and all the sadness Lucifer had caused and was continuing to cause, Chuck was able to see his little boy, see just how broken he was and just how hard he was fighting to keep it together. Placing a hand on Lucifer's shoulder, he watched as his son's eyes fell to the floor, before glancing up and meeting his father's.

"jealously is the brother of envy Lucifer and both are cloaked in fear and sadness"

Lucifer entered his office and slumped into his chair his hand coming up and running through his hair before sliding down to his neck and rubbing at the tense muscles. Lifting his gaze at a soft knock he clenched his jaw and mumbled a quick "enter" before grabbing for the lone picture that adorned his desk.

Crowley walked into the office and shut the door quietly behind him, walking towards his friend he sat in the chair and watched as Lucifer gripped the small photo in his hands. Crowley knew what picture he was looking at for he was the one who took it.

"you can still have that" the demon spoke his British accent thick and smooth

Lucifer looked away from the photo for a moment and into the eyes of his friend, his brother. Slowly he placed the picture back down in its proper place and with a sad shake of the head looked away "not this time" he answered "I've gone too far, she will do what needs to be done and she will…"

Crowley slammed a hand down on the desk, causing the few items that occupied it to shake slightly "bull" the English man shouted getting to his feet and leaning over the desk only to point an accusing finger in Lucifer's face

"you are Lucifer for crying out loud…you can change this, you can undo it, so don't act like you are unable to, the fact is…" he spoke and straighten himself only to turn and walk from the room "is that you don't want to, because then she…she…" he stopped his hand on the doorknob "she will stay with Castiel…"

With one final look the demon looked at his broken friend "if you truly want her to return to you…this isn't the way to do it and you know that, in the end she will only end up leaving both Castiel and you, then what…" and with that Lucifer was left alone, Crowley words spinning in his head as his eyes flashed back to the small photo.

Two hours later Lucifer emerged from his office, walking through the hallways of Hell he knew what needed to be done, what he should have done long ago

"Crowley" Lucifer shouted as he entered the office of the demon

Looking up from the various papers and memos that sat upon his desk, Crowley watched as his friend paced back and forth his hand running from his hair to the back of his neck. Stopping short he turned his hand dropping to his side.

"I need to tell her…"

Crowley stood slowly from his desk his fingers tapping lightly on the wooden surface. He licked his lips before walking around and coming to stand in front of the blonde angel. He chuckled softly and gripped his friend on the shoulder

"you're going about this all wrong"

Lucifer cocked an eyebrow and slid out of the man's embrace "how so…" he questioned, walking around the room and plopping down in the demon's chair. His eyes drifting over the few items he had stationed on his work place

Crowley watched the man for a moment, noticing how his eyes lingered on a small picture held in a simple black frame.

"think about it friend…" he spoke an evil and subtle undertone flickering throughout his words "wait until the time is right…"

Lucifer raised his eyes "a right time" he chuckled "when is there ever a right time to tell someone that…"

"oh but there is" the demon cut in a small smirk gracing his lips

Lucifer's eyes went back to the photo "go on" he mumbled his mind reeling with all the missed opportunities.

Crowley smiled "you wait until she saves the hunter…and when she has nowhere to turn and is lost and scared and would go running back to _Cassie_ , you tell her…show her and there you have it, she comes running to you, and you…" the demon spoke walking closer to the desk, watching as Lucifer looked over at him the wheels in his head turning with the puzzle pieces that were being thrown at him

"…you get to save her…"

Lucifer let the final words of Crowley speech sink into his mind, not just the words but the actions that accompanied them, Addison would come running to him, come to him for safety and security. She would finally know what he has known and been carrying around for centuries. With a small smirk Lucifer stood, as he walked towards the door he stopped and placed a firm hand on Crowley's shoulder

"she will finally see Castiel for who he truly is…"

Crowley nodded and placed his own hand on his friend's shoulder

"and see you for who you've always been"

 **A/N: thoughts...I hoped you liked this one and seeing more Lucifer! Next one out soon! As always, reviews, input and suggestions are welcomed; constructive criticism however no need to be nasty or rude =)! Also I know Lullabye doesn't have an 'e' but this was written while listening to Hozier's song by the same title as this chapter!**


	6. Burden

Chapter Six: Burden

Sam smiled as Addison entered the room and took a seat at the end of the table pulling a stack of books in front of her. She gave him a small smile in return and then buried her head within the large book involving folklore and witchcraft. Sam watched her for a moment engrossed in the way she seemed to soak up the information; he knew she must know a great deal of what she was reading but it still amazed him how she didn't give up on finding something she may have missed or over looked. Suddenly his eyes filled with pain as he thought about Addison's meeting with Lucifer only three days ago; how she had spoken quietly with Castiel about the matter and how Castiel had disappeared at some point in the night, fear and panic evident in his blue hues.

"you already know what needs to be done"

Addison lowered the book and focused her blue eyes onto Sam; with a sigh she closed the book and ran her fingers over the worn out cover. He noticed how she tilted her head to the side and stood walking towards him and sitting in the chair closest to him.

"I do…" she spoke her eyes never leaving his "but…Castiel, he…he would rather me try and find another route"

Sam gave her a confused looked "I don't understand" he started reaching up to cover her hand which he hadn't even noticed lay softly over his much larger one "what are you going to have to do…"

Addison gave Sam a sad smile "Samuel…" she began "…it is…"

"so we have a little over a week left Ads…" Dean yelled out as he entered the room holding a beer in one hand and a book in the other "…what's the game plan"

Sam hated his brothers timing, he watched as Addison stood, giving him a smirk and walking towards the oldest Winchester "Dean…" she spoke ignoring his question all together "where is my brother"

Dean looked from Sam to Addison and then back again "don't know, said something about Heaven and your father…and vanished" Addison nodded her head and watched as Dean slumped into the chair she vacated a moment earlier

"ever since you gave him that message from Lucifer he's been weird…weirder then usual"

Sam nodded his head and flipped his laptop open "yeah what did that even mean…"

Addison shrugged her shoulders "there are things between my brothers that I'm unaware of…just like there are things certain brothers are unaware of when it comes to me and one of them"

Dean took a sip of his beer and shook his head before looking at Sam "glad I only have to deal with you Sammy"

Sam smirked "wish I could say the same"

Addison chuckled at the brothers before she stopped and tilted her head towards the ceiling "I must go…Heaven is calling but I will return"

"wait…what…" Dean called out only to turn and see empty space in front of him the light breeze of her departure drifting through the archway

It was quiet for a minute before Sam closed his computer and looked at Dean "what will she have to do"

"whatever the angels need at the moment I suppose" Dean spoke without looking up, Sam shook his head and pulled the book out from underneath his brother

"I don't mean at this moment; I mean with me…" he spoke standing up and pacing "it's something big…it's something that is going to change things…I mean hell, Cas is freaking out for a shit ton of reasons, Chuck seems on edge from bits of conversation I've heard between Addie and Cas and Lucifer is suddenly MIA we haven't heard from Crowley in close to a week…" Sam stopped and gripped the back of his chair his eyes finding his brothers

"Sammy…" Dean spoke "Ads knows what's she's doing…she's an angel for crying out loud, this is what she does…and yes it may be big but…" he stopped and stood walking towards his brother, pulling him into a hug "she's going to save your life and honestly…that's all that matters…she's got this Sam…" he spoke gently pulling away and holding onto Sam's shoulders "she's got you…plus if her father and brothers have any say she'll be fine…"

Sam let his brother's words sink in and slowly nodded his head; this was Addison's job, duty and if she believed she was doing the right thing, doing what needed to be done, was doing what was in fact the only way to spare his life and if she was okay with the outcome for the both of them than he could be as well.

Addison arrived in Heaven and was immediately tackled in a large bear hug. She smiled as the scent of vanilla and peppermint filled her soul "hey doodle" she mumbled, causing Gabriel to chuckle

Pulling away Addison watched as her brother's smile wobbled "what's wrong Gabe"

Gabriel looked into his sister's blue eyes and smiled sadly at her "you're really going to go through with this goose…"

Addison smiled and placed a small hand on his cheek "come on Gabby you know I have to"

"no…no you don't…" Gabriel replied turning and grabbing Addison's hand walking towards the office where the one person he thought could talk some sense into his sister was sitting and waiting

Addison took a deep breath she knew where her brother was dragging her and she couldn't help the smirk that crossed her face, she knew that her brother's attempts would fall short, her mind was made up. Pushing the door open she watched as Balthazar looked up from his papers and smiled

"Addison" he breathed

Addison ran forward and was quickly embraced in his warm arms "hey brother" she spoke softly, pulling back to look at him fully "what is wrong" she spoke as she noticed an unease about him

Balthazar looked over Addison's shoulders and watched as Gabriel slowly nodded and disappeared from the room. Addison turned at the sound and watched as her sweet tooth brother vanished

"Zar" she whispered "what's going on"

A few hours later Addison arrives back in the bunker, her eyes landing on Castiel who jumped up at her presence "how was your trip"

Addison stares at her brother for a minute before simply nodding her head "fine" she mumbled, her eyes never leaving his

Castiel watches his sister for a moment before also slowly nodding his head and taking his seat once again "Sam and Dean are out getting dinner but should return shortly"

Looking away from Castiel she stares at the few maps that line the walls and nods

"when they return we must discuss when to best move forward"

Castiel is quick to get to his feet, walking to stand behind his sister "Addie there must be another way…there must"

Turning Addison stares at her brother her blues eyes vibrate and…and sad "Castiel" she speaks her eyes narrowing "what did Lucifer mean when he said…"

"pizza is here"

Dean and Sam enter the room stopping in the doorway as they watch the two siblings stare unblinking at each other. Addison is the first to break turning and smiling sadly at Sam

"angels don't eat…" she replies walking towards the younger brother "as you know...but thank you…at the moment I have other matters to attend to, I will return shortly and then we will talk Samuel and we will settle the deal"

Sam could only nod as Addison placed a hand on his cheek "it will all be over soon…your life…your soul is one of the few that is still worthy, even if you don't believe it to be and I…" she stopped glaring back at Castiel "…I will not let it be tainted or stolen"

With one final look at Samuel she vanished from the room leaving only a gentle breeze and slight sense of tension in her wake.

"you knew"

Chuck looked at his daughter, his little girl, his baby and for the first time in his life knew that being God wouldn't help him in this situation. He felt horrible, he knew that this moment would come, that she would find out eventually, that she would put the pieces together or as it so happened that her brothers would give her clues and bits of the story allowing her to connect the dots, he knew they could only lie and fib the truth for so long before they couldn't do it anymore and with the sudden turn of events he knew that it was bound to happen quicker than he was ready for

Addison turned her ocean colored orbs onto her father "you knew" she repeated. Chuck noticed that her voice didn't hold any resentment or anger but disappointment and sadness. She watched as her father slowly nodded his head; his own eyes filling with sorrow and regret.

"I'm sorry sweetheart" he spoke, his eyes watching her every move "it's just, it seemed best at the moment…was the lesser of two evils…"

Addison's eyes narrowed "but…he…he took the blame for something he didn't do…something he tried to prevent from happening, he took the fall for…"

"Addie…" Chuck spoke placing a gentle hand on her cheek, causing her to stop in her rambling "…he wanted to do it…as hard as it is to believe he wanted to do that for him…for you, for the both of you, he already knew what was coming so we thought it would be easier for you this way"

Chuck watched as Addison's eyes showcased just how much she was fighting an internal battle; slowly he pulled her into a hug "but now…now he's lost and…and…"

"shh" Chuck whispered kissing the top of her head "like I said you'll save him, bring him back into the light…"

Pulling away Addison looked out the window watching as the moonlight cast shadows over the forest, the trees blowing in rhythm to her confused mind "but…Castiel…he…he will try…"

Addison glanced down as her father placed a small book into her hands "I've already seen it dad…"

"look again"

Addison let out a sigh and flipped the book open glancing down she saw what she already knew was there but then her eyes caught a slight red mark and she followed it to the bottom of the page reading the messy handwriting she recognize as her fathers, her eyes filled with confusion and she glanced up at her father

"it is what I created you to do…you are the only one to set the pieces back into place"

Addison closed the book and handed it back to her dad "what happens if I fail…what happens if my brothers refuse to see the wrong in their ways…"

Chuck smiled "you won't fail and your brothers, your brothers are bound to fight and push back, they are more than likely going to act the complete opposite way of how you want them to…but in the end you are only in charge for the ones in here" he ended holding the book up

Addison nodded her head "I'm still disappointed that you knew…that you allowed this…allowed him to take the blame to carry this shame"

Chuck took a step back "he loves you Addie more then you know and he knew what he was doing…"

Addison smiled at her father before shaking her head "how do I handle this dad"

"you do what you are destined to do…you save them"

Castiel stood off to the side as Addison sat cross legged on the floor in front of Sam the young hunter leaning against the wall; Dean was slowly pacing the room letting the words Addison had uttered float throughout his mind. Every few steps he would turn and glance over at the angel and his brother; whose eyes were focused only on the girl in front of him as she whispered simple words to him that were too low for his ears to pick up.

"I can't let you do this"

Addison smiled softly at Sam and placed a gentle hand on his cheek "you don't have a say in this Samuel…sorry" she added with a sly smirk

She watched as Samuel shook his head and leaned into her touch "but you'll…and then…and what about…" Addison laughed the sound soft and pure causing Dean and Castiel to both glance up but remain where they were knowing that Sam needed time to talk this through, process what his angel was about to do… _his angel_ …

"I know Samuel…I know…and I'm prepared for it, all of it, and no matter what I will return to you, I will always return to you…"

Samuel's hazel eyes filled with tears "I can't lose you…" he spoke his voice low eyes only on her; but in the background he could make out Castiel slowly lead Dean out of the room "you're my friend…my angel…"

Addison gave a sad smile and dropped her hand gripping one of Sam's in both of hers "I will always be your angel…I will always find you, come when you call, I will never leave you and even after all of this I will come back to you, I will find my way back to you…I promise…I will find you…"

Samuel didn't even know he was crying until Addison reached up and wipe away a tear only for it to be replaced by another, slowly she moved her body and kneeled in-between his legs wrapping her small form around his larger one, he dropped his head onto her shoulder and took a shaky breath as she ran her fingers through his hair. He only gripped her tighter as he heard her soft voice sing the soothing words into his ear.

Dean stood in the doorway Castiel a few steps behind him watching the scene before them, turning he looked over at his friend

"your sister knows what's she's doing right"

Cas looked away from Dean's piercing gaze and over at his sister wrapped up in Sam's arms as the hunter gave out soft and quiet sobs

"she does…she always does…it was her brothers that were doing it all wrong"

 **A/N: some family secrets are about to get exposed...reviews!**


	7. Cold

**A/N: so this note isn't about the chapter even though I do hope you enjoy it; but it's about the hate that Misha was/is getting all because of how people want the spelling of** ** _'Cas'_** **to be. One** ** _'s'_** **or two who really cares it's a nickname of his actual name and it shouldn't cause so much hate. Spell it how you want, no one is going to fault you; or at least they shouldn't. It was just really sad to see all the negativity over this silly and seemly unimportant topic. I hope that it blows over and even though Misha seems like someone that doesn't let these things get to him it can still hurt and make a person change how they interact with people. He seems like the sweetest guy and it was just something I hated seeing as I'm sure a lot of you did as well. Anyway on with the story. Also if your curious most of the chapter titles come from songs I listen to while writing: this one is _'Cold'_ by: Jorge Mendez; feel free to throw a song title out there! Enjoy**

Chapter Seven: Cold

Dean watched as Addison moved around the library her eyes floating over different books that she would pull down only to place back a moment later. She stopped in her rush of pacing and quick movements and dropped her hands her eyes finding Dean. She let out a small breath he was sure she was holding since she requested his presence in the book filled room. He watched as her eyes drifted over his shoulder her head tilting downward; once she was sure that they would not be bothered, that they did have a moment alone did she flicker her sky colored orbs back onto him. He didn't speak simply stood waiting for her to say why he was here, why it was him she wanted to speak with, why it was him she wanted to question, why it was him here and not Sam or her own brother, but as he stood there watching her small form and the worry and panic that seemed to fill her doe like eyes he knew and when she whispered her question, her request, her fear, he knew why it was him, why it had to be him…they couldn't know she was in fact concerned by the outcome of what was about it happen.

Sam sat in his room his eyes focused on the wall in front of him. Today was the day, the week was almost over, with the countdown clock finally on the forty-eight-hour marker it was now or never. Addison had told him there were a few things she needed to square away but by nightfall she would call for him and his life would be spared…his life would be saved and he was…happy; yes of course he was happy, but he couldn't help but feel guilty as well; what would become of Addison, he had yet to be filled in on that aspect of the agreement only knowing a small amount of what was to happen and it was all starting to trouble him, was it really that big…what was Addison giving up to save him…what would she have to sell in order to spare his soul. Glancing up at a soft knock he watched as his brother poked his head inside

"hey Sammy…"

Sam nodded his head and watched as his brother entered the room leaving the door cracked "so…we're ready when you are…"

Chuck watched as four of his sons sat in various locations around the room while Crowley simply stood leaning against the doorway that separated the office from the living room, his arms crossed over his chest a slightly bored and tried emotion drifting over his eyes

"you all wonder why I love Addison more then you" Chuck began his eyes sliding away from his boys and over towards the picture of himself and Addison that sat front and center on his desk; a small broken smile tugged at his lips. The pictured showed the two of them in his backyard, it had just snowed and the two of them were dressed in winter coats and hats, their noses and cheeks red from the cold but smiles as wide as the Heavens plastered on their faces. Addison had made a snow angel for each one of her brothers; she made one special for Lucifer that included Devil horns, something that the pair kept to themselves.

"and this…this is why…" he spoke his eyes flashing back towards the boys who did everything in their power to avoid eye contact with their father

Chuck shook his head and looked out the window his eyes watching the sky "she…she is going to go and save the hunter in a matter of hours and in doing so…"

"there must be something you can do" Gabriel cut his father off getting to his feet and walking towards the desk "you're her father…you're _God_ for crying out loud"

Chuck looked away from the graying clouds and towards his son and for the first time didn't see any sign of the trickster, any desire to pull a prank or eat a sweet flashing throughout his golden eyes.

Chuck opened his mouth to respond but watched as Gabriel turned and pointed an accusing finger at Lucifer and Castiel

"no…this…this is your fault, you played the Winchesters, you got them involved in that hunt and you branded Sam" he started his eyes focused only on Lucifer as the fallen angel looked passed Gabriel and at his father

"and you" Gabriel took off on another wave of anger and fear and sadness his eyes now glued to Castiel "you brought her into this…you called her to help and yes I know he is her charge" he spoke his eyes quickly going to his father "…but still…" Gabriel lowered his hands Chuck noticing how they shook slightly taking a breath before looking back at his brothers "and all because you didn't want to share, all because you were jealous of one another, envious of something each one of us had, each one of us…"

With that final statement and one last look at his father Gabriel sadly dropped his head and vanishes from the room.

With a quiet pop Gabriel is gone and the words he spoke hang in the air like mist after a rain. Balthazar stares at the vacant spot his brother left behind before getting to his feet and walking towards the large window that overlooked the forest "I told her…" he mumbles turning to look back at his siblings "I told her" he repeats a little louder and from the corner of his eye watches his father pull the picture off his desk and grip it within his hands "and you know what…" he pauses adding to the thick layer of tension within the room "she _didn't_ care…"

Lucifer looked over to Crowley and watched as the man narrows his eyes "wait…your telling me that Addison knows…knows the _truth_ and she, she's _okay_ with it…"

Balthazar flickers his eyes over towards the demon and nods his head "yes and yes…and why are you here"

"I'm practically family" the demon answers with a smirk his dark eyes finding Lucifer's once again, giving the man a subtle shake of the head

Castiel looked over at his father before standing "I don't understand; Addie knows what truly happened…" he whispers walking closer to Balthazar. He watches as his older brother nods his head placing a gentle hand on his shoulder "I explained it all…showed her…she knows…" he replies watching the fear and sadness gloss over Castiel's eyes "and she didn't care brother…she still loves you, still respects you, still needs you…both of you"

Castiel looks into his brother's blue eyes before turning and glancing over at Lucifer, watching as his oldest brother looks at the floor beneath his feet "Lucy…" Castiel mumbles. The room becomes still all eyes on the man that was banished, was pushed away, cast to the depths of hell; slowly he gets to his feet and looks over Castiel his eyes boring into Balthazar

"you shouldn't have done that"

Balthazar pushes Castiel to the side "and why not…so that you could do it before she saves the boy and be the hero, be the one to expose Cassie…sorry to spoil your little hope at redemption brother but in the end it wouldn't have changed anything…" placing a hand on Castiel's shoulder he looks at his father before back at Lucifer "don't you see it Lucy…you're the only one in this room…in this family that thinks you are truly what you pretend to be…"

"and what is that exactly dear brother"

Shaking his head, he smiles sadly at the man he once looked up to "the Devil" and with those two words Balthazar vanishes from the room taking Castiel with him. Lucifer watches the empty space for a moment before snapping his fingers and having Crowley disappear as well, leaving just him and his father. Chuck stares at Lucifer for a minute before placing the picture down and walking towards his confused and troubled son, placing a hand on his shoulder, Chuck nods

"it's true you know…but the longer you tell yourself this story the more you become the lie hidden within the words"

Addison glances around the room quickly her eyes finding her father, placing a hand on Gabriel's arm she walks away from her brother into the arms of her dad…her dad not God but her father, she feels him place a hand on the back of her head and mumble into her hair.

"if you just told us where your vessel…"

Addison pulls away from her father and smiles, one he notices doesn't reach her eyes "you know I can't…I made a promise…"

Dean stands next to Sam, the brothers watching the interactions between Addison and her family. It was then Dean not only saw but felt the weight of what was about to happen. This girl…angel…sister…daughter…friend was about to alter her life in order to save his brother. Dean looked over at Sam seeing the man's eyes flash from Addison to the other angels filling the room

"hey…" Dean whispered making Sam snap his attention to him "she wants to help…she wants to do this, for you…she wants to save you"

Sam nods his head and looks back towards the small family of angels; he watched as Addison spoke out looking between her father and brothers, he watched as her smile wobbled before she nods and looks towards him, her smile returned and she broke free of the circle and made her way towards him.

"Dean…" she nods in his direction; Dean nodded back placing a gentle hand on her shoulder before leaving his brother and Addison alone moving forward to stand by Castiel and his brothers

Addison watched Dean walk away before turning her blue eyes onto Sam "Samuel" she spoke in a soft voice; Sam did everything in his power to avoid Addison's storm colored eyes "Samuel" she repeated a little firmer, reaching up she placed a small hand on his cheek causing his eyes to slide down to her.

"I think it's time" she spoke with a smirk "let's go save your soul"

Addison walked Sam into the middle of the room and looked around at everyone who filled the small space. She glanced over at Castiel watching as her brother fought a battle within himself one she could read from the troubled look in his eyes. She patted Sam on the arm before quickly moving to stand in front of her brother.

Castiel watched as Addison walked Sam into the middle of the room, her feet covering the simple patterns drawn on the floor, Sam's own feet covering a similar design with a few extra symbols adorning the edges. He wished he had said more, had explained himself but since he arrived at the bunker an hour ago he let his other brothers and father do the talking, he wasn't sure what to say…did he apologize…did he tell the story from his point of view…

He was shaken from his internal monologue when he felt a soft hand flatten his tie. He watched as Addison attempt to fix the fabric and lay it straight only to smirk a small chuckle leaving her lips "remember when I brought this for you and then realized neither of us knew how to actually tie a tie…"

Castiel smiled at the memory his hand coming up to rest gently over hers "goose…I…"

Addison looked up locking her eyes onto her brother's identical pair "when I come back…when I find you, and I will" she spoke and he wasn't sure if she was trying to convince him or herself "I'm going to buy you a new tie and actually put it on correctly" she smirked "and…and I know cricket…I know…"

Castiel's eyes softened and he shallowed back the emotion filling his chest, so he simply gave her a sad smile before pulling her into his chest, her small form almost hidden by his larger one

As Addison made her way back to the circle, everyone watched as Dean handed her a backpack; she took the duffle and swung it onto her shoulders smiling at the older Winchester. As Dean backed away he caught Chuck's eye and the man nodded at the hunter knowing that whatever was held within the sack would hopefully help his daughter in what was to be set out in front of her.

Sam wasn't sure what to do so he simply stood there, he glanced up quickly his eyes surveying the room flashing from person to person, he only jerked his eyes back to the one person that truly mattered in this moment when he felt a pair of small hands clasp around his own. He tore his eyes away from their interlocked fingers and up to her face, he watched as she smiled, giving his hands a gentle squeeze

"you know why I'm choosing to do this don't you Samuel…" Addison chuckled as Sam didn't move, didn't blink "it is because you are still good, still pure, still honest…you still believe, still have the faith that so many in this world are losing, you want to do good, be good, you have a wonderful soul Samuel, a soul that is meant to do great things, change the world, save those that inhabit it and I want to see that, I want to see the greatness you can achieve…" she stopped and released their hands her eyes going to her father for a moment, she gave him a sad smirk before placing a hand over Sam's heart while her other laid on his cheek. She felt the tears before she saw them, with a deep breath she closed her eyes and mumbled words Sam couldn't understand. It took a moment but then slowly he started to feel the warmth radiate throughout his being, he watched as Addison's body glowed briefly before the light became overwhelming and he closed his eyes, then it was quiet, it was still and it was dark….

The next half hour was a blur of voices and light; Sam wasn't sure when it all happened but at some point he must have passed out because when he woke Dean was sitting in front of him his head bowed and his leg bouncing up and down. Slowly he sat up his eyes adjusting to the dim light within the room. Looking around he watched as Cas stood in the background beside him sat Chuck the man looking lost and broken

"Dean"

Dean jerked his head up his eyes filling with relief as Sam pushed himself up into a sitting position his eyes floating around the room

"what…how…am I"

Dean nodded, his eyes giving away the calmness he felt, the fear and panic were gone and Sam finally saw his brother…his strong and tough as nails big brother….

"yeah…she did it, she saved you, you're…you're going to be fine"

Sam smiled slightly and lifted a hand to touch his chest he could still faintly feel the warmth that spread through him, it was like being wrapped in a hug, a hug that he never knew he needed but had always wanted and in that moment he wanted to give the hug back, give it to her…his angel… _his angel_

"Addie" he breathed getting to his feet and watching as Castiel placed a hand on his father's shoulder, the man showcasing the emptiness he felt…

Dean stood as well stepping in front of Sam and making his brother look at him "she's gone Sam…" Sam watched as Dean looked behind him knowing his eyes were asking Castiel or Chuck for some back up, some support in this conversation

"she's not dead" Chuck spoke out from his spot in the chair, his shoulders slumped and his blue eyes dull "she's been sent back to wherever she got her vessel from…"

Sam looked between Cas, his brother and Chuck "wait…I don't understand…is she still her, or…"

"she's still Addison…still my little girl" Chuck replied getting to his feet, it was then Sam noticed the few beer bottles that sat by his now empty chair "she's just been sent back to where she chose her vessel…and because of everything that happened she has no grace, no powers, nothing…she has nothing and she refused to tell us where her vessel came from all because of a stupid promise" he spoke his eyes wide and fearful as they turned towards Castiel

Sam and Dean watched as Chuck placed a hand on Cas's cheek "you two share the same eyes…" the man mumbled "…I can't look at you right now" with those words Chuck disappeared leaving a cold breeze in his wake

"Cas" Dean whispered watching the look of despair fill his friend's eyes

Turning Cas locked his eyes onto the Winchesters "I must go…" the angel spoke running a hand down his tie "my brothers and I are...I need to…we need to…" Cas rambled on causing Dean to walk forward and place his hands on the man's shoulder

"Cas…Cas…look at me"

Dean shallowed as Cas's blue eyes locked onto his green, in that instant Dean saw how he must have looked for the past three months; the not knowing, the fear and panic, the guilt and shame, the regret and sorrow it was all there within the depths of Castiel. Dean shook his head "we will find her Cas…she's a smart, capable girl, angel or not, hell she grew up with you and your crazy family she'll make it…"

Castiel nodded his head his eyes going past Dean's shoulder and finding Sam's gaze "she gave us nothing…she refused to talk about where she acquired her vessel saying it was a promise she made to the girl…we don't even know where to start…"

Castiel left shortly after that, going back to Heaven to talk more with his brothers before he would check in on his father. Sam sat at the table his eyes drifting over to the spot he last stood with Addison, he placed a hand over his heart and whether it was there or not he swore he could still feel the warmth of her touch flowing throughout him. Sam sat in the stillness of the room, the weight of what just transpired settling in on him. It was then he realized that Addison was somewhere out there…out there without her grace without her power…she wasn't an angel anymore at the moment and she had to rely only on her understanding of human interactions which from what Sam could tell wasn't that much better than Castiel's. His head then snapped towards the hallway as he watched Dean walk by with a beer in his hand. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion before he stood following his brother's footfalls

"Dean…" he called out "…what did you put in that backpack…"

 **A/N: next one is already being worked on. Hope you enjoyed this one! It's going to get a worse before it gets better! You've been warned!**


	8. Begin

**A/N: so this is a bit of a "filler" chapter and I'm not internally sure how I feel about it. It jumps around a bit showcasing each character and their feelings; I also wanted something easy before all hell breaks loose. There are a couple of flashbacks thrown in as well and hints as to what is to come. It is going to get a little dark in terms of what Addison goes through so I'll give warnings when those chapters come up. I think that's it for now but I did want to also throw in that if anyone wants a special story written in a form of a one shot I'll be happy to write one for you and post it under "** ** _Shooting Stars_** **" just leave a prompt idea; can be AU or Supernatural based and I'll make sure to dedicate it to you! Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter Eight: Begin

 _Five-year-old Addison sat on the edge of Heaven her feet dangling off the side, her eyes red and gentle tears sliding down her cheeks. She didn't understand how humans could go from believing so fully in her father one minute, to smiting his name within the next breath. It was all too much for the young child to comprehend and it made her sad and angry at the ones she was told to love and protect "it is nothing I haven't heard before goose" Addison wiped her face and turned, her blue eyes locking onto her father who stood with Balthazar, Gabriel and Lucifer at his side "I don't care" the girl mumbled "if they have faith in you, believe that you can hear them and help them if able, then they shouldn't stop just because one prayer goes unanswered". Chuck watched as his daughter peered back over the edge at his creation, the man didn't know what to say he too thought the same, this wasn't an easy job, and at the moment he was more invested in being a father to the ones that were actually his own, then to the ones he created. He watched as Lucifer and Balthazar walked forward and sat on either side of their sister "sometimes…" Lucifer started "people only believe when it is convenient for them, when they need something and have nowhere else to turn" he looked to Balthazar to help support his claim "it's true goosey, sometimes people try to get dad to help them when they never believed in the first place…do you think he should answer their calls for help…" Addison stopped and turned looking at her brothers letting their words take shape within her young mind, she shook her head before standing and walking over to her father, Chuck kneeled so that he was eye level with her "would you answer if I called for you" Chuck pulled his little girl into his body wrapping her up in his arms "always" he whispered as he stood lifting her with him "goes double for us little one" Chuck smiled as Gabriel came forward and Addison reached out for him; he stepped back and watched as his boys reassured their little sister that if she ever needed them, if she ever called out, no matter where they were or what they were doing they would come…they would always come…they would always come. He turned as he heard his youngest son approach "Addie…" Castiel cried out a smile on his face. Addison looked away from Lucifer and watched as her brother came running up his hands clasped together. Lucifer smirked and placed Addison on the ground watching as his two youngest siblings kneeled on the ground their foreheads pressed together as Castiel showed Addison the newest bug he had, had father create. He raised his orbs and watched as everyone wore matching smirks at the tiniest angels and their bond that was unlike any that had ever been…he knew that even though Castiel was young that he too even in his childlike mind would always protect his sister….'_

Lucifer sat at the head of the table his blue eyes scanning the fellow demons that sat scattered around, his eyes drifted to Crowley who spoke addressing the demons and fallen angels on what was needed to be completed by days' end. He was listening but he wasn't there, his mind was elsewhere, it was on distant memories and moments he wished he could relive, could do over, could make right.

"there is one final note" Lucifer heard Crowley speak his drawl making him look up and away from his notes which contained mostly drawings and vague words and phrases

"there is an angel out in the mist of the world, her location unknown, what is known is that she has lost her grace and is powerless, she is relying only on what she knows of human protocol and interactions; which if I'm being honest isn't all that much…" Crowley stopped his eyes flickering towards Lucifer.

All eyes followed Crowley's gaze and muttering ensued; Lucifer heard one demon whisper something about finding her and making her their vessel. This caused Lucifer's blood to boil and he stood slamming his fist on the table

"Crowley is correct; there is an angel out there…a lost and confused angel who is now human… _human_ " he stopped his eyes traveling over each face "I will say this…" his voice was strong and firm and held the authority that only Satan could "if you come across a girl, small in form and looking like she could be my brother Castiel's twin you are to not harm her or impose upon her, you come directly to me and report on where you saw her…if I hear that one of you hurt her or took her as your own or that you found her…found her…" he waivered he would not…could not think that way "…I will kill you myself and that is a promise"

Gabriel was stuck, he was unsure and uninspired, he usually pulled pranks and tricks to get out of a funk but it seemed inappropriate and half the things he did were to get a laugh out of Addie, she was his partner is crime, he was able to do a majority of the things he did because he had her as a buffer, their father would never get too upset if he saw that Addison was involved and was happy and enjoying herself. He sat in an empty room his thoughts only on his sister and how he could be of any help in tracking her down. In truth he came to this room so that if she called out to him he would hear it more clearly and as the minutes ticked by he was getting more and more anxious that she had not called; he only hoped that she had reached out for Castiel and he had just not heard about it yet. Gabriel ran a hand through his hair; he hated how Lucifer and Castiel had started this whole ordeal; no one saw Balthazar and himself up in arms because Addison spent more time with one verse the other; and why couldn't Lucifer simply understand the bond between the two…it was a fact that the two were more close knit then the others, no harm ever came from it, it was a simple act of what was. He also knew that he wasn't just going to sit around and wait, he would fight and he would die before anything happened to Addie. As his honey eyes scanned the walls for the five hundredth time he jumped off the desk and paced for a moment before giving in and snapping himself to the one place he knew at least one of his brothers would be and he hoped that for the first time in a long time they could all work together to achieve this one very important goal.

Balthazar couldn't take it anymore, the pity looks from the other angels who he knew in their heart didn't care about Addison; in truth all of them were jealous that Chuck…God…spent more time with them then he did with the others and were all secretly happy that Addison was out of the picture…he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from lashing out as he entered his office and found Gabriel sitting on the table his gold colored eyes flashing over to him "brother" he whispered closing the door. Gabriel nodded in responds before bowing his head again "have you checked in on dad recently" Balthazar shook his head "no…I did talk with Castiel though and apparently all of us remind him of her in some way so he has told us to not visit for a while" Gabriel nodded his head "I just don't get it…how do we have no information on where she got her vessel" Balthazar sat for a moment his eyes flickering over to the small family picture that sat on the table; it was taken at their father's house all the children making a weird face or gesture while their father simply sat in the middle looking bored and unamused "you know the rules brother…a vessel must agree to become said vessel and if there is anything they wish for us to do or not do they are free to say…" Gabriel nodded and pushed himself off the table "why has she not called out for us then…" Balthazar looked at his little brother and bit his lip his blue eyes locked with Gabriel's worry filled orbs, he had his thoughts on why they have not yet heard from Addison but all the reasons he had were ones he wouldn't speak aloud, they were hard enough to think, the worst being not that Addison was dead but that they couldn't hear her…that they couldn't answer the call…that she couldn't get through…

"I'm not going…"

Dean looked up from the trunk where he was going over the contents of his various duffel bags and smirked at his younger brother "oh you're going"

Sam clenched his jaw, it had been two days since Addison vanished and he was starting to go crazy, he spent the first twenty-four hours hunched over his laptop searching missing person reports, obituaries and kidnappings for the past two years only to come up empty, each time he thought he may have gotten a lead it just ended in heartache.

"you're going…Cas is going to meet us there and we're going to go and kill some monsters, it's what we do Sammy and if Addison knew you were wasting away the life she saved by trying to track her down she would kill you…" Dean spoke looking back at his brother "she didn't do what she did and give up what she did so that you would spend all day and night trying to locate her…her vessel…" Dean narrowed his eyes not sure if that was the best way to describe the current state of events, shaking his head he slammed the trunk close "she said she would find you right, that she would come back to you, come when you call…well Sammy it's time you use some of that faith you're always going on about…trust her Sammy she's out there and she'll come back"

Sam pondered his brother's words; he knew Dean was right, Addison would hate him if she knew he wasn't doing the things he should be because he was trying to find her, she had told him he was destined for great things, was here to save the people of the world and that was what he was going to do…he was going to make her proud, make sure that she didn't give up her grace for nothing; nodding his head he headed towards the car "where we headed"

Castiel stood in the shadows watching as his father sat at his desk his head in his hands "I know you are there Castiel…" Castiel took a hesitated step forward and entered the room. He watched as his father looked over at him before pulling a few books and papers towards him "I think I'm going to write another book"

Castiel tilted his head to the side causing his father to clench his jaw. Chuck didn't know why but the tilting of the head was a trait only used by Castiel and Addison and he wasn't sure who established it first but watching Castiel do it with those narrowed and confused eyes was too much "can you not…"

Castiel licked his lips and nodded sadly at his father "you want to write another book"

Chuck nodded his head "remember those bedtime stories I would tell you guys... the adventures of the angels…" Chuck stopped a small smile gracing his lips. Castiel couldn't help but smile as well. He remembers those stories fondly. Looking over at his son Chuck's smile grows as he sees Castiel fall back into the memories as well "well…what do you think Cassie...good idea…"

Castiel focused his blue eyes onto his father and nodded "a wonderful idea, those stories were a very special part of our childhood and I believe we would all love to relive them"

Chuck smiled and ran a hand down his face before pulling his laptop into the center of his desk "and what is it you want to address"

"nothing…" Castiel started gripping the back of the chair that sat in front of him "I just came to tell you I'm going on a hunt with the Winchesters so I may be gone a few days"

Chuck looked away from the brightly lit screen and studied his youngest son "alright…" he answered after a moment watching as Castiel looked away from his father's gaze and out the window at the setting Sun "and Cassie…"

Castiel snapped his attention back to his father "it's not your fault...I know you believe that all this happened because of what took place centuries ago but….what is it that they say "same shit different day"…this was bound to happen, her charge was and is Sam Winchester she was at one point or another going to have to take this route…don't blame yourself…the two of you are…" Castiel listened to his father's words and watched as the man stopped and got lost in something held within his computer "…are two peas in a pod and nothing will change that…"

Castiel nodded releasing the chair and taking a step back "oh and Cassie tell Sam something for me will you…"

Chuck watched as Castiel vanished his eyes leaving the spot his son stood and drifting to the screen of his computer, leaning back in his chair he smiled at the picture that he had created to be his screensaver a baby picture taken on the second birthday of…Castiel and Addison the first set of twins to exist within the world. With a heavy breath Chuck closed the laptop and turned his focus onto the darkness settling outside his window "this is all my fault"

Castiel appeared in the back of the Impala, his eyes going to the younger Winchester "my father wishes for you to stop doubting the decision made, that Addison is a strong willed child and would have made the same choice on any given day…so stop with the guilt and what ifs"

Dean and Sam heard the rustle and knew Castiel was sitting in the back; as Dean opened his mouth to speak he closed it as the rough voice of Castiel spilled out. Dean swallowed thickly as he listened to the words Cas had spoken; he knew his brother fought with the possible outcomes of what Addison was doing for him, what if she didn't do it and what if it all went wrong…for the both of them, and when he woke and realized it had worked, that he was given a second chance and Addison was gone he fought with the guilt and shame and regret of having her give up her whole being in order to save him. Dean peered at his brother from the corner of his eye and watched as Sam clenched his jaw and kept his eyes focused in front of him.

"he also said to not stop…he wouldn't specify on what that meant, only that you would know; he said he couldn't be sure but that it wouldn't hurt to keep it up"

Sam's eyes lowered to his hands which sat in his lap, his fingers playing a tug-of-war with each other. He slowly lifted his head and nodded, his eyes flashing towards the window as the rain clouds moved in making the sky turn gray and dark, with a heavy sigh he watched as small droplets of water landed lightly on the car and with the words of Chuck still floating through his mind he didn't stop…because in the end it couldn't hurt and maybe just maybe it was working…

 _'_ _Addison knew the drill as she had seen all her brothers do it before her; one must find a vessel also known as a human who is willing to let you take up residency in their body. The vessel must be sure, must be unwavering in their decision, in their faith and in their desire to help carry out the message of the Lord in the terms and ways of letting you take over their body. Addison had spent months searching for the right one, she wanted someone who like her believed in her father, believed in what he was doing, what he stood her and would help others see the light. It all happened, all fell into place when she saw Riley Woods. Riley was a girl who grew up in a household that worshiped the word of the Lord, they went to church and they believed in the Almighty. Addison chose her, so for the next month she watched Riley, watched the way she interacted with her family, with her friends and it was during that month Addison knew Riley was the one, not because of her faith or her love for the Lord but because Riley was what some would call a sinner, what some would call an abomination and yet that didn't change a thing…_

 _Riley sat on the cold tile of her bathroom the razor blade held tightly in her hand, her left arm ragged and torn, blood seeping from the thin lines created by the weapon held within her small fingers. Around Riley sat the small flyers and pamphlet that said they could fix her, that all she needed was a six-week class and she would be cured. Deep down Riley knew she wasn't sick, she didn't need a cure, she wasn't a sinner or a disappointment, that God loved all his children and because we are all created within his image could never be called wrong or broken, so why did Riley feel like she was worthless, like she deserved to die…_

 _"_ _do you want to know something funny…"_

 _Riley snapped her head up at the voice bouncing through the washroom. "who's there…"_

 _"_ _God…yeah he's bisexual"_

 _Riley looked around the room and licked her lips "what…" she whispered_

 _"_ _yeah…he swings both ways…"_

 _Standing Riley placed the razor down beside the sink and looked at herself in the mirror "great now you're going crazy"_

 _"_ _no you're not…do you believe in God…and everything he stands for"_

 _Riley looked at her reflection and nodded her head "of course" she answered without missing a beat "wait…how do you know God is bi…and who am I talking too"_

 _"_ _I know because I'm a child of the Lord and I want to use you as a vessel to help carry out his work"_

 _Riley laughed as she ran a hand through her hair "very funny" she spoke glancing around the room once again_

 _"_ _do you trust in the Lord"_

 _Riley nodded her head and walked towards the shower pulling away the curtain_

 _"_ _then do it…"_

 _"_ _do what" Riley asked the air, her eyes jerking towards the razor blade_

 _Addison bit her lip she knew she would save the girl, would show her the truth and get her vessel but could she really ask someone to do this…._

 _"_ _cut yourself…"_

 _Riley's eyes flashed around the room "what"_

 _"_ _cut yourself vertically…"_

 _Riley shook her head, for the first time not trusting in the words spoken_

 _"_ _I thought you said you trusted God's word…"_

 _Swallowing Riley clenched her jaw and nodded her head "I do…"_

 _"_ _then trust me…trust him"_

 _Riley took a breath before reaching over and lifting the blade, slowly with a slight pit of fear in her chest she laid the blade over her vein and pulled back. Riley watched with panic as blood bubbled to the surface and ran down her arm, only to stop a moment later and slowly reenter her body, the cut itself closing leaving behind a faint mark that was smooth and cool to the touch_

 _"_ _wow" Riley whispered_

 _Addison smiled "so then…how would you feel about becoming one of God's messengers"_

 _Over the next two hours Addison talked Riley through what becoming a child of the Lord entitled and how it would affect her; Addison was surprised really that Riley was willing to give up her life at such a young age for this…for her…for her father. Riley had simply said that without God, without her faith and without her belief that things happen for a reason she would have been dead long ago. That she was happy to give herself to the cause, to help show others God's path and help them find peace within him like she had._

 _Addison had asked Riley where she felt most comfortable letting Addison enter her and take over her body and was directed to a vast wilderness that reminded Addison of her father's home, she also asked if there were any other questions, and if there was anything she wished for her to do or not do once she had taken over her soul_

 _"_ _when you're in me…will you be gay…or will you…" Riley rambled "do angels even care about that stuff…"_

 _Addison smirked "angels don't really care to be honest, in the beginning it is hard to love as it is a concept we don't truly understand but I suppose if the time ever came, I would simply love a person's soul and gender would be a moot point"_

 _Riley nodded her head and looked around at the blackness of the forest_

 _"_ _anything else" Addison spoke softly as she stood unnoticed in front of Riley_

 _"_ _where I live" Riley began talking to the cold night air "those aren't my real parents…their the reason I was cutting…they didn't understand how I could have faith and love God when "he didn't love me or my choices"…" Addison watched as Riley lowered her hands "but I always knew and believed God loved all his children…so I guess… just don't tell anyone where you chose me from…I was planning on running away anyway and they won't care" she spoke gesturing out into the vast darkness "probably won't even file a missing person's report…just…just continue to help people see the true light of your father…just use me to do good"_

 _Addison listened with a heavy heart "I promise" she whispered "on all of it"_

 _Riley smiled "before you do it…thank you…wherever you are..." she laughed "honestly this is the best thing that could ever happen to me…I feel like I'm doing what I was always supposed to be doing…my purpose"_

 _Addison smiled; yeah she had picked the right girl "alright…if you're ready…"_

Addison's eyes jerked open her breath coming out ragged and harsh, her eyes danced around her surroundings working to adjust to the darkness that enclosed her. Glancing up she watched as the moon moved slowly to sit in between the trees casting a faint glow over her. She sat up and sadly smiled, she glanced around the trees and watched as an owl took flight. Running a hand through her hair she carefully got to her feet, feeling the backpack still resting on her shoulders she looked around the dense woods one last time before releasing a slow breath and following the light of the moon.

 **Thoughts…also feel free to leave a prompt for a one shot! Thanks for the support!**


	9. Soon We'll Be Found

**A/N: hey all, this is going to be semi short one, and it may also seem like I'm leaving a lot left open ended, unfinished and hanging in the air but I'm setting it up that way for flashbacks and memories, as well as some storylines that I'm currently mulling over so just bear with me! Hopefully you like this one and as always leave a review and message as they motivate and keep me going. I'm also going to be working on some short/one shot stories so look out for those as well! Also, things in** ** _Italics_** **are flashbacks, memories and thoughts.**

Chapter Nine: Soon We'll Be Found

 _"_ _Sammy…Sammy…SAM" Sam jumped awake his eyes snapping open and focusing on his brother who stood at the foot of the bed. Sam pushed himself up and swung his legs over the side, slowly he got to his feet and glanced around the room, from the open doorway he could hear muffled voices, shadows dancing across the dimly lit hallway_

 _"_ _what's going on" he mumbled running a hand through his hair, his hazel eyes leaving the archway and sliding over to his brother_

 _Dean walked forward and placed a hand on his brother's shoulder, Sam watched as Dean's eyes drifted to the doorway a sad almost guilty look floating through his green orbs_

 _"_ _we found her Sammy…"_

"no one may be listening…but um, I do need assistance. I have questions and there seems to be no answers, I wouldn't presume to ask for help if I didn't need it, but I need help. I'm lost. I need your guidance. Please hear my prayer…" letting out a huff Addison looked to the sky "I don't know how humans do this"

Addison let a small chuckle leave her lips if her situation wasn't so upsetting she would find it very comical; an angel praying…if she truly thought about it however it was in all honesty more depressing then funny, turning her eyes away from the sky they lingered on her lap her mind coming to a halt as reality set in once again. Her eyes drifted down the street watching as cars and people zoomed by her. Pulling her backpack closer to her body she peered down at the small notebook in her hands. It was the same one she used when working at the bar; flipping to the last few pages she opened the pen and created another small tally mark… sixty-five small black marks lined the page. Closing her eyes briefly she shoved the notebook back into her bag and pulled out the small cell phone that Dean had programmed with various numbers including himself, Sam, Bobby, Castiel and even her father. Her fingers ran gently over the cracked screen and she once again tried in vain turn the device on. She had tried over and over to seek out her brothers and even her father to no avail. She wasn't sure if they were simply not responding to her or if she was just not getting through and she prayed again that it was the latter.

It had been a little over two months since she was flung back to Washington, back to the forest where she had been granted access to her vessel and it had taken nearly a month and a half to make it into Colorado. She was using a beat up old map and found the shortest path to get her back to the bunker and she was hopeful that in the next few weeks she would have her feet on Kansas soil. With a sad shake of her head she looked down the street watching as the small store front shops started to close for the night, she tore her gaze away from the darkened structures and looked back towards the sky

"why can't you hear me brothers…why haven't any of you come…"

Gripping the straps of her backpack she shuffled down the road, the sky was turning gray and showing signs of rain, pulling the hood of her coat up she turned down the street, her eyes scanning the area for a place to settle in for the night, if she was lucky she would find a gas station that didn't monitor the bathrooms and she would try to spend the night there. She bit her lip and brought her hand up gripping the necklace that lay against her chest. Her mind drifting back to her brothers…all of her brothers.

Addison stopped walking for a moment her eyes snapping up and glancing in each direction waiting, waiting for the soft sound of wings, the ripple of thunder, the sound of a bird, anything that would give her some hope that someone out there heard her, heard her and were on their way. When she was met with only silences, only the gentle but bitter wind and only her own rapid heartbeat did she shove her hands into her pockets and resumed her search for a place to rest for the night.

Jogging across the road Addison pushed the door open to the small roadside gas station; the neon sign flashing 'Gas n' Sip'. Pulling the baseball cap she stole from a local store a few states over further down on her face she slowly walked down the aisle. She stopped in front of a chip display and ran her fingers over the wrinkled bags reading the different flavors that were hidden within. Biting her lip, she placed a hand on her stomach, the feeling of hunger was still new to her and she hated how she had to not only rely on but stop so frequently on her journey to handle certain human needs and desires. Lifting her eyes up only slightly she watched as the young man behind the counter was busy with a small line of customers, taking her chance she grabbed two bags at random her eyes still on the blue vested clad man and quickly stuffed them into her bag before turning and heading towards the drink section, there she did the same thing with a few bottles of water before slowly and effortlessly leaving the store. Looking around for a moment she noticed a few truckers ambling around filling their rigs and walking to and from the diner across the street. Tearing her eyes away from the vehicles and pushing down the guilt, anxiety and despair she pushed the door open to the restroom located on the outer wall of the structure and walked inside.

 _'_ _Addison stood in front of Dean watching as the oldest Winchester turned and faced her, his green eyes showcasing his regret at having to have her do what she was to save his brother "you know I would always chose this path, I would do what needs to be done to save Samuel" Addison watched Dean swallow roughly before rubbing the back of his neck and slowly nodding his head. Addison gave the man a sad smile before gesturing with her hands that he should proceed. "alright…" Dean began looking at the small angel in front of him "so step one; you should always keep a weapon somewhere on your person, more importantly in a place that others may not think to check or suspect that a weapon is being concealed." Addison nodded her head her eyebrows knitting together "why…and where do you suggest" Dean smiled at the girl, she looked and acted so much like Castiel that it was comical and slightly off putting; walking towards her he spoke slowly making sure she understand and grasped each concept "if something were to ever go wrong and your bag was separated from you, you would still have a form of protection…" he stopped, looking into her ocean blue eyes making sure she followed and was seeing his points "and I would suggest in your boot" he stopped and pointed to her footwear "your small enough that if needed you would be able to hike your leg up and grab ahold of it" Addison nodded and pulled out the hunting knife Dean had supplied her with tucking it away into one of the straps that crossed throughout the boot, she smiled when she felt it push against her sock ensuring it was snug and secure. Dean smiled at her watching as she zipped up the bag and held it firmly in her hand "okay now last bit of info before I have you repeat everything back to me…" Addison nodded "if…if something where to ever go wrong and you needed to…needed to handle it, needed to save yourself, defend yourself" he spoke before glancing down at her boot, Addison bit her lip, the truth behind Dean's words settling in her mind "you start from the navel and work your way up…don't ask…I just found that works better, quicker and whoever it is doesn't see it coming until it's too late…and…and don't get caught okay…you need to come back to us…back to Sammy" Dean stopped and watched as Addison nodded her head, her eyes giving away just how young and pure she was…Dean hoped that this world, that wherever she was going didn't eat her up and spit her back out. "okay…" Dean whispered placing a gentle hand on her shoulder; it may have only been a couple of weeks since he met Addison but he already felt the need to protect her, already saw her as the sister he never had, already considered her family and in the end she was the most important person to his most important person and he would be damned if he didn't at least try to keep her safe, even if it just meant giving her survival lessons for the real world "repeat back to me everything we just went over…" Addison slung the backpack on her shoulders and smirked up at Dean "thanks Dean…really…thank you…" Dean smiled and pulled her into a hug resting his chin on top of her head "don't mention it little one…" he mumbled with a sad smile, feeling Addison chuckle when he used one of the many nicknames he came up with for her. "now come on…everything I taught you"_

Addison's eyes snapped open and she let out a gut, her breath was rigid and coming out in short and rough intervals, it was then she remembered and the fear and panic came crawling back in. The gas station, the bathroom, the trucker, the sick smirk and the smell of stale beer and bourdon.

 _'_ _Walking into the rest area one thing Addison noticed right away was the lack of a lock on the main door, glancing around though it made sense there were multiple stalls, making the bathroom usable for more than just one person. While Addison didn't like that idea as she knew people could come in and out at any time she just figured if anyone made a comment or gave her a look she could make up some excuse about being a traveler and getting sick...it would work she thought as she walked towards the sink and proceeded to wash the day's dirt and grim from her hands. She let a huff of air out when she looked at herself in the mirror, she was paler then usual and thinner then she remembered her vessel being before and she had large bags under her eyes making the blue seem darker and brighter all at the same moment. Glancing down at the watch that sat on her wrist she saw it was already nearing ten, hopefully that meant not many people would be at a gas station and therefore not entering the bathroom. Her moment of hope though was shattered when the door was pushed open; expecting it to be a woman, Addison didn't turn to look at the new comer but instead occupied herself with her bag hoping she looked like a traveler who was cleaning up before heading back onto the road. It wasn't until a very unfemale voice spoke out and very rough and large hands grabbed her did she realize her hope and last bit of faith had been lost…'_

Using all her strength she pushed the large man off her body and took in a shallow breath of air. She brought her shaky hands up to her face and pushed her palms into her eyes, the threat of tears looming at the brim. Slowly pushing herself into a sitting position she ran her fingers through her hair and glanced down at her body, her clothes were covered in a mass of red and her hands were no better, looking around the small room, her eyes went from the knife that sat to her right before they drifted over to the man, his face was pushed into the floor but she would never forget that face those eyes, that smirk. Standing she reached down and grabbed the knife cleaning it off on the truckers back before shoving it back into her boot. Walking quickly over to the sink she switched on the water her eyes flashing to the door for a minute waiting and watching, before she looked over and scrubbed her hands off as best she could, glancing in the mirror she watched as her blue eyes stared back at her, hollow and void; shaking her head she splashed water over her face as well doing her best to remove any residue the man left behind. Looking around the room she grabbed her bag, stepped over the man and walked to the door; her hand wavered over the handle before she turned and looked over the room, biting her lip she glanced up and noticed the small broken window in the corner…

 _don't get caught…okay…you need to come back to us…back to Sammy_

Addison wasn't sure how long she ran for, she just ran, at some point it started to rain, it slammed onto the pavement under her feet, her boots slamming against the forming puddles sending splatter upon her already shaking form, the redness seeped into her clothing and bleed throughout the fabric, she stopped for a moment looking behind her before quickly turning sharply on her heel and skidding to a stop in a dark alley way. Leaning against the wet, cold and graffiti painted wall she stared up into the black, starless sky

"so…so this is how it's going to be huh?" Addison shouted pushing herself away from the wall and gesturing to the open space around her "come on guys…really…is this some sort of life lesson, huh…have I been to sheltered…to well protected…I don't understand"

Addison took a breath, lowering her gaze away from the Heavens, she ran a hand through her wet hair and let out a bitter laugh "so much for always coming" she mumbled

"umm…so I know this could probably get me killed but are you alright"

Celeste Middleton walked quickly down the street, her hood pulled up and over her head as she bobbed and weaved her way throughout the scattering of people that were too caught up in trying to avoid the rain that they failed to notice the young girl pick pocking them. With a sly smirk, she pulled her bag pack closer to her body and took a sharp right coming to a standstill at the entrance of the alley. Her blue eyes took in the scene before her a young girl slightly younger than herself from what she could make out in the downpour stood in the middle of the alley her arms outstretched and her head towards the sky.

From what she could see the girl seemed harmless enough and it wasn't in Celeste nature to walk away from someone who looked like they needed guidance. Biting her lip, she walked closer to the girl her eyes watching her every move. Coming to a stop five or so feet from the young woman Celeste spoke out.

Addison jerked around her eyes snapping over to the girl who stood mere feet away from her. Looking the girl over Addison did a quick assessment…another lesson from Dean, make sure you can figure out if their friend or foe….

From the looks of it, she seemed to be friendly, she was the one after all to stop in the middle of a dark alleyway and ask the shouting mad woman if she was fine.

Once Addison turned Celeste could see the large blood stain that covered Addison's whole body. Without thought to her own well-being or how the stain even occurred Celeste rushed forward

"holy shit are you okay…"

Addison looked down at her body and watched as the redness that covered her, drifted and ran down the rest of her body pooling into a pinkish hue mass at her feet. Raising her eyes, she locked them onto the mystery woman's and slowly shook her head; the events of the past couple months coming full force resulting in the swimming of tears in her ocean orbs.

Celeste watched as this young child was on the verge of a metal and physical breakdown; it was in that moment her discussion was made; reaching down she grabbed Addison's discarded bag and placed a hand on her shoulder "come on" she spoke pulling Addison in the direction of her apartment "let's see if we can get you cleaned up and back where you belong"

Addison stared at the girl for a moment before a feeling of calmness settled into her bones…someone had finally come…someone had finally heard her…someone finally cared…

Nodding her head Addison turned walking in time with the girl "my names Addison by the way…"

Looking over the two girls locked eyes; Celeste smiled and placed her hand back onto the Addison's shoulder

"I'm Charlie…Charlie Bradbury"

 **A/N: hey there hoped you enjoyed it…I struggled for a bit but I think it's doable which is all I can muster at the moment. Anyway, the next one will show more interactions between Addison and Charlie, we will reunite with the Winchesters, Addison will figure out why her family never heard her prayers and there may be a showdown between Addison and something…someone...you'll have to wait and see. As always please leave a review, they mean the world and motivate me to keep writing; also, feel free to leave suggestions, ideas, themes or prompts for short stories or one shots!**


	10. Heart Hope

**A/N: Hello Lovely readers! I hope you enjoy this one!**

Chapter Ten: Heart Hope

Addison followed Charlie further down the alleyway, her eyes glancing from the wet pavement under her feet to the woman who was leading her to her home… _so she hoped_

"it's just right here" Charlie stopped pointing over towards the rusted fire escape ladder. Charlie watched as Addison's big deer in the headlight eyes drifted from the ladder before flashing back over to her only to travel back again.

"I mean…this isn't it…it's up there…" she spoke quickly gesturing upward

 _Sam stared at Dean before chuckling lightly and pushing past his brother walking into the adjoining bathroom, he looked back at Dean watching as his brother's eyes glossed over; Sam gave another shake of the head before softly closing the door_

 _Entering the bathroom Sam walked over to the sink flicking the water on, placing his hands around the outside of the vanity he got lost in the steady flow of water as it left the faucet. Glancing away from the liquid he studied his reflection in the mirror; his hair was a mess, the bags under his eyes were deep but nothing came close to how he felt. His mind and body were broken. It had been two months since Addison was ripped from them…from her brothers and father…from Dean…from him. Tearing his eyes away from his shell of a being he splashed some water on his face before glancing over at the door once more. This wasn't the first time he had dreamt about Dean coming in to wake him up with news that Addison was found, with news that she had come back to them…back to him. It all ended the same though, the routine was always the same, it was so real every time, waking up having Dean there only for him to push pass his brother and enter the bathroom when he re-emerged Dean would be gone and he would be left with the emptiness and void, the coldness and loss. Shutting the tap off Sam looked at himself one last time running his fingers through his hair and taking a deep breath he left the bathroom…_

Charlie watched as Addison climbed through the window her eyes drifting over the small apartment that Charlie called home "so this is my humble abode"

Addison's eyes went to Charlie, slowly she nodded her head and shuffled awkwardly on her feet. At this moment, Charlie was finally able to take in the girl, it was clear that she was young, that she was running from something…or maybe towards it and that she was lost, broken and barely hanging on.

"let's get you cleaned up…"

Addison followed Charlie throughout her home and into the small bathroom, Charlie flicked on the light and guided Addison inside "uh wait here…"

Charlie disappeared for a moment and Addison stood unmoving in the middle of the bathroom, her eyes found the mirror and she caught sight of the horrible mess that she had created of herself, her hair was stained slightly with blood and stuck in a tangled mass to her head, her eyes were deep and dark and her clothes were past saving.

"it was in self-defense" she mumbled "I needed to…I needed to" she spoke her eyes drifting to the ceiling as tears pushed at the back of her eyes

"okay here we are" Charlie called out walking back into the room holding a clean pair of jeans a t-shirt and a flannel shirt "these should fit you, I mean you're a little smaller so here's a belt for the pants, everything else should be fine…" Charlie turned placing the clothes on the closed toilet seat "here take your boots off we can dry them out"

Addison stood alone in the bathroom Charlie having left only a moment ago, telling her to shower and freshen up and then they would talk. Addison walked over to the shower and pulled the curtain back, her eyes glancing over the knobs and the various bath items Charlie had hanging within the stall.

"knock knock…you okay in there…"

Charlie cracked the door open "hope you're decent…I didn't hear the water so I figured you might need help…"

"umm yes that…that would be… helpful" Addison mumbled, feeling inept and foolish, she took a step back allowing Charlie to come all the way inside

Charlie watched Addison for a moment before going over and switching the shower on, once the water seemed right Charlie looked back at Addison, biting her lip Charlie pointed to the various bottles "feel free to use whatever…"

Addison looked down at her bare feet and nodded her head "thank you" she whispered. As Charlie walked by she stopped and gently placed a hand on Addison's shoulder

"take your time…" and with those words Charlie was gone leaving Addison alone in the steam filled room

Charlie stood outside the bathroom for a moment, she shut her eyes and dropped her head. Slowly she looked back at the bathroom door and could faintly hear the sound of the shower curtain being pulled closed; with a heavy sigh, she pushed off the wall and walked back into the kitchen; opening the fridge she realized she didn't have any food, biting the inside of her cheek she peered down the hallway, listening to the running of the water. She looked around her crappy apartment and with a sad smile knew she had to help this girl, acting quickly she grabbed her bag and rushed out the window, with one last look back down the hallway she slipped out and disappeared into the rain.

Addison stepped out of the shower and glanced around the room, grabbing the towel Charlie left for her she dried herself off and proceeded to get dressed in the borrowed clothing. Once clothed she ran her hand over the mirror removing the fog that settled there. Staring at her reflection she lowered her gaze. She had a slight bruise forming under her left eye and a faint handprint mark located where her shoulder met her neck. Taking a deep breath Addison slowly opened the door peeking her head out and looked off down the hallway where she heard light movement.

Standing in the shadows for a moment Addison watched as Charlie bounced around the kitchen mumbling to herself; Addison rubbed the back of her neck nervously as her eyes spotted the box of pizza that sat on the counter, placing a hand on her stomach she realized just how hungry she was. Taking another small step Addison let out a small cough

"umm…thank you for…"

Charlie spun around her eyes taking in the girl in front of her. Her heart broke at the hollow and void look in Addison's eyes and quickly walked forward

"it's no problem really…come sit…" Charlie spoke guiding Addison to the small table that sat in the corner of her kitchen "I got pizza…just cheese…wasn't sure what you would want…." Charlie rambled as she placed a plate in front of the girl. Charlie slowly took her seat facing Addison watching as the small girl looked at the pizza, her eyes trying to and failing to hide the emotion that was overtaking her.

"so…umm…"

Addison snapped her eyes up and away from the meal in front of her; Charlie held up her hands as the look in Addison's eyes went from sadness and lost to fear and panic.

"when you're ready to…" Charlie began lifting her own slice of pizza up and taking a bit in hopes of getting the broken child in front of her to eat as well "I would really like to know what happened to you out there…what you're running from, or running to…" Charlie stopped and smirked slightly when Addison took a bite of her dinner "I could try and help…get you there or away from there…"

Swallowing roughly Addison's eyes drifted around the room before she turned her blue orbs back onto Charlie's own sky colored eyes, her voice quiet and uncertain "why…"

Charlie was taken aback by Addison's question "why" she repeated, she watched as Addison nodded, her eyes going distant, lost in a troubled memory

"well because…" Charlie stopped short; why was she helping her, this girl who was standing alone in an alleyway shouting into the night sky, a girl that was covered in blood and a girl that seemed to be carrying the weight of something much larger than her on her shoulders

"…because" Charlie began again, her voice gentle but firm "I want to help you…don't ask me why" Charlie smiled holding her hand up to stop Addison who simply closed her mouth and fiddled with the napkin sitting in front of her "I just feel like…like you're someone that needs…." Charlie stopped once again and held Addison's eye "deserves to have someone help her, someone to be there …I want to help you…and to be honest…" Charlie stopped and looked around her small battered apartment "I think helping you may help me as well…"

Addison watched the woman in front of her, watched the small movements she made when she spoke, watched the way her eyes held honesty and trust, watched as her hands moved wildly as she spoke, watched as the small smile she wore grow slightly when she spoke and then wavered when her eyes caught her staring. When Addison was an angel it was easy to tell when someone was lying or being honest, it was simple to see someone's true intent, see someone's soul and know what kind of person they were. Now that she was human she was having to rely on her gut, her own thoughts on a person and it made her uneasy she wasn't sure after everything she had witnessed, had endured and had to do if she was capable of trusting her own instinct especially when it came to humans and the world around her.

"so, after you eat because no offense it looks like you haven't had a proper meal in some time…" Charlie once again picked up her slice gesturing for Addison to do the same "we'll talk…"

 _Sam stopped short his hand still resting on the light switch; his eyes danced over his brother who sat on the edge of the bed his head bowed and his leg bouncing slightly. Turning off the light Sam took a small step into the bedroom, he watched as Dean lifted his head and stood_

 _"_ _what are you doing here" Sam asked his eyes flashing around the room_

 _Dean stared back at Sam his eyes holding the same emotion from earlier, taking a small step forward Dean placed a gentle hand on his brother's shoulder, he watched as Sam's eyes followed his every movement and with the soft squeeze, Dean saw the mask fall, saw in that moment that Sam realized he was no longer dreaming that Addison was indeed back, was mere feet away_

 _"_ _Addie…" Sam breathed looking away from his brother's hand and back into his eyes._

 _Sam watched as Dean let a broken smile cross his lips before he nodded repeating the name that haunted Sam's dreams for months_

Addison listened as Charlie spoke quickly and passionately about her life. Charlie was in laymen terms a hacker; a person who Addison found out does pretty much what you would think someone does when their job description is a hacker…they hack into various databases, agencies and firms and do whatever is needed. In truth Charlie liked to call herself a computer specialist…

"to be honest it all started when I became a gamer"

Addison watched Charlie smile and she couldn't help the small flicker of a smile that quickly crossed her lips as well. There was a sudden lull in the conversation and Addison fiddled with the edge of the placemat that sat in front of her. Charlie sensing that Addison was a bit hesitated decided to try and help the dialog along, reaching over she picked up Addison's discarded backpack and placed it on the table

"I didn't mean to pry…but you know you are kind of in my home…" Charlie tore her eyes away from the bag watching as Addison stared at the simple bag a look of sorrow but also a flashing moment of peace taking over her expression "and you were yelling at the sky in the middle of the alley…"

Addison's eyes hadn't left the black bag since it came into her view. When she stared at the bag she was brought back to the fact…the cold truth that no one had come for her, no one from her family had heard her prayers, no one seemed to be out there…for her…lifting her gaze she locked her eyes with Charlie and saw in that moment, that Charlie even though she had seen what was held within the pack didn't send her back out into the wild, didn't look fearful, didn't have judgement or pity but in turn had a look of semi understanding, a look of concern and in that moment Addison saw the answer to her prayers, here in front of her was the one person who had come, who had stayed and who was going to help

"…so" Charlie continued "tell me…what's your story"

Addison placed a gentle hand on the bag and pulled it over to her, slowly she unzipped it, very aware of Charlie's eyes watching her every movement. Reaching inside she pulled out the broken and non-working cell phone; running her fingers over the shattered screen she looked over at Charlie, who was watching Addison's hands closely. Addison placed the phone down in the middle of the table; with a deep breath Addison started her tale

"do you believe in God…"

Two hours later Charlie stood from her chair turning towards the fridge to pull out another bottle of beer; she ran a shaky hand through her hair before gulping down half the bottle and returning her gaze to Addison who sat with her eyes unfocused as they lingered on the angel blade that sat on top of Charlie's dark wooden kitchen table. Charlie was having a hard time wrapping her mind around everything Addison had just told her; sure, she believed in God, the angels, Heaven and Hell and after Addison spoke about her brothers she couldn't help but believe the girl's story.

Sitting back down Addison blinked and focused her attention back onto the woman in front of her

"it's a lot to take in…" Addison began

Charlie laughed nervously cutting Addison off mid-sentence "that's putting it mildly…but…" Charlie stopped replaying Addison's words in her mind, her story, the names, they all seemed familiar even the Winchesters were a name she vaguely knew and knew they were to be respected, she glanced down looking at the angel blade, the broken and beaten Bible, the worn-out map, the shattered cell phone and the gun that were all lined out in a neat little row, lifting her eyes they went back to the small and innocent girl… _angel_ … _angel,_ sitting in front of her…

"...but, I believe you"

Addison's eyes widened at Charlie's words and Charlie didn't miss the emotions that overtook her, her mouth turning into a small smile and her eyes shining with unshed tears, in turn Charlie couldn't help the sad smile that took over her face and the swell in her heart for this girl. Reaching over Charlie grabbed the cell phone mumbling something about it being an easy fix, standing from the table and moving over to her small work station set up in the adjoining living room she turned back and smiled at Addison…

"let's get you home"

 **A/N: hey there; a bit of a cliff hanger (maybe). I know we all want to see the reunion and it is coming but I have a whole setting/scene in mind leading up to that and I could have kept going and added it in to this one; but then the chapter would have been super long and possible felt a little busy, rough and disorganized. Anyway, I'm working on the next installment and hoping that I can have it out sooner rather than later! As always reviews, PMs and suggestion/input mean the word! Feel free to leave prompts for one shots and short stories as well! Hope you enjoyed this!**


	11. Nobody's Home

**A/N: hey everyone! I hope you're all doing well! A bit of a short one and it may be a tad confusing as it bounces back and forth. It will go from flashbacks to the present so make sure to read closely so you don't get mixed up. I really hope you like this one; it was a little hard to write as I want to get to the reunion! I don't want to rush it though and I do still have another hurdle for Addison to get over before she is back where she belongs…but it's coming. Love all of you!**

Chapter Eleven: Nobody's Home

Sam stared down at the phone, this was his fifth attempt at trying the number that was connected to the cell phone Dean had given to Addison, each time he called though he was met with the same robotic voice telling him the phone was no longer in service

"still no luck"

Sam snapped his head up and watched as Dean entered the room and collapsed into the chair across from him. Shaking his head Sam placed his phone on the table and ran his fingers though his hair. Dean stared at his brother, it had been a week and a half and Sam was struggling with the fact that no one had heard from Addison

"what does Cas say…I mean he hasn't heard _anything_ "

Dean shook his head, Castiel was just as lost as everyone, including the rest of his brothers and all the stress was causing relationships to buckle as people were struggling and coping in their own way…some better than others. Dean looked away for a moment, this was hard for him as well, Addison had wormed her way into his heart and became the little sister he never knew he wanted. She was tough and spunky but still so innocent and confused by the world around her that he wanted nothing more than to protect her and shield her from the wrongs and evils that were scattered throughout their lives.

Sam let out a heavy sigh and grabbed the phone once more. Squeezing the device in his hands he looked back at Dean "how are you doing…"

Dean's eyes jumped from the space of wall they were burning into and over towards his brothers worried and tired orbs

"me…" Dean questions knitting his eyebrows together "…how am I doing…"

Dean watched as Sam nodded "she was your friend too…the two of you got close throughout the time she was here; I saw the two of you working on Baby together, training and just hanging out…she made you smile and laugh more than I ever saw, so yeah how are you doing…"

Dean ran a hand through his hair down to his neck and rubbed the area nervously; he didn't do feelings, he didn't do the mushy stuff, the chick flick moments as he called them but staring up at Sam it was hard to not admit…he missed Addison and it hurt like hell

"I…I miss her" Dean finally spoke his eyes finding the space on the wall once again "she was the little sister I never knew I wanted...never knew I _needed,_ she made me…she made me feel better about things…made me feel whole, made me feel like the things I've done, been through and hell even the things I haven't done yet were okay, were all part of a bigger picture, part of a life that was okay to be living…I'm worried and anxious and want her back here…back where she belongs"

Sam watched as his brother spoke, his eyes staring ahead but lost and far gone. He had never heard Dean be so open and honest before and it was both refreshing and scary. Slowly Sam nodded his head, biting his lip he stared down at the phone "give Cas a call…I'm going to try out a few more ideas…"

Castiel sat on a lone park bench his eyes watching the people that ambled by in the brisk fall weather. He let a soft smile cross his lips as a young girl ran by laughing while an older boy; who more than likely was the girls brother chased after her making bear noises and laughing loudly himself. Castiel's smile wavered and soon dropped all together as he heard the soft and sad voice of Dean Winchester; for the past week Castiel had been in limited contact with both Dean and Sam; Heaven was in need of his attention and when he wasn't working he was with his brothers and father trying and sadly failing at finding out the whereabouts of Addison.

"you're going to have to answer them sooner or later…"

Castiel let out a breath as Gabriel's voice filled the space around him, the scene changing from the leaf scattered park to a more vibrate and lush garden. His smile returned as he realized where Gabriel had transported them to. His watched as a smaller and younger version of Addison and himself ran throughout the wild flowers and grass, laughter escaping their mouths, their hands clasped tightly together as they hid from their older brothers and father, who played along with the children's game even though they were quite capable of not only seeing them but also hearing the giggles that floated throughout the garden pinpointing their location.

"they want answers…" Castiel spoke his blue orbs following the sight of movements before him; remembering that day clearly "answers I don't have…answers I should…" Castiel stopped and let the sound of that perfect day dance out for a moment "why…why haven't we heard anything, she must have prayed to one of us by now and if not, Dean gave her that mobile device with many of our own numbers programmed inside"

Gabriel let out a breath watching the family memory playing out like a movie "remember when Addison was five and dad was upset because he felt like his creations were failing him because of World War Two…." Gabriel stopped for a moment turning to look at Castiel, watching as his brother stared out at the smaller versions of himself and their sister "remember how Addison climbed up into dad's lap and pulled his face towards her kissing him gently on the cheek before telling him that it wasn't his fault, that it wasn't anything he had done, that there wasn't anything he could have done to change what was happening" Gabriel watched as Castiel nodded "she said that sometimes people need to make mistakes, need to fall and fail, need to find and pave their own path in order to see right or wrong"

Castiel stood and slowly made his way towards the simple illusion "Addie was always wiser then we gave her credit for, dad had his reasons for loving her more and each one was correct, she…she was the perfect angel…"

"she still is" Gabriel spoke coming to stand beside his brother, the scene before them slowly fading "and we will find her…I can't say I know why we haven't heard her but…but she's strong and smart and has heart and love for this world and the humans in it…"

Castiel let out a long sigh his head dropping for a moment as the memory was replaced with the simple playground, which was almost empty as the sun lowered on the horizon

"that's what I fear most"

Addison sat on Charlie's couch; it took Charlie a couple of hours but she finally managed to fix the broken cell phone. It was close to two in the morning and Charlie had supplied Addison with a few blankets and pillows and wished her a goodnight. It was decided that come morning or as Charlie had stated no earlier than noon that they would figure out her next move. Now as she was sitting here in the darkened room her fingers tracing over the still cracked screen she struggled with what to do. Clicking the button, she watched as the phone came to life, the screen lighting up the room, she moved her fingers and glossed over Dean's name in the list of contacts. She knew she should call someone and Dean seemed the easiest and safest option; he would just demand to know where she was and come get her…no questions at least at the moment. She let out a breath and clicked the phone back to blackness she just couldn't bring herself to reconnect; there was still so much she needed to process, needed to come to terms with, needed to rethink…

"morning…"

Addison was shaken from her thoughts as Charlie came shuffling into the room walking past Addison into the kitchen. Addison watched her for a moment as Charlie moved around the room, opening cabinets and preparing her daily cup of coffee.

"morning" Addison replied. Standing she slid the phone into her back pocket a move that didn't go unnoticed by Charlie as well as the fact that it looked as if Addison hadn't slept at all...

Charlie pulled out an extra mug and placed it in front of the broken angel. Biting her lip Charlie decided to dive right in; she knew Addison wanted to be reunited with her family and friends and selfishly Charlie wanted to meet the people that caused Addison to smile, that she spoke so highly of….and if she was truly honest the mama bear in her was coming out and she wanted to give those brothers a piece of her mind….

"so umm…. what's the plan, did you make any phone calls last night, or figure out what direction you want to take"

Addison gripped her cup of coffee watching as the dark liquid swirled around causing a small whirlpool to surface.

"I think it would be best if I head closer to home, once in Kansas I will phone Dean and have him meet me somewhere…" Addison stopped and looked over Charlie's shoulder staring out the small kitchen window watching as the morning sky turned a pale shade of blue "I couldn't bring myself to call anyone last night" Addison broke and quickly looked at Charlie "I…I was unsure of how I feel about everything, not just what I endured out there" Addison's thoughts flashing to everything she had done and had gone through while out on the road "but also the fact that my brothers didn't seem to hear me calling for them…" Addison stopped short her eyes getting bright

Charlie lowered her coffee and reached over placing her hand over Addison's limp one that sat beside her steaming cup "I get it…we'll go about this however you want…" Charlie looked at Addison's large and sorrow filled blue hues, saw the struggle of an angel turned human who was unsure and unaware of how to go about these new feelings and emotions "well…when do we leave…"

Addison's eyes tore away from her covered hand and into Charlie's optimistic blue eyes "we" Addison repeated a look of confusion taking over her face, she watched as Charlie nodded reaching to grab Addison's untouched cup

"yeah…we, as in the both of us…I'm coming with you, going to make sure you make it alright… " Charlie turned placing the cups into the sink and turning the water on, looking over her shoulder she smirked "sorry to tell you but your kind of stuck with me now"

 **A/N: one more author note! If you guys have any questions at this point in the story I would love to hear them and try to answer them for you. Just send a review or PM and I'll list the question and answer in the start of the next chapter; or send out an individual reply depending on what is desired. Once again thank you for the support! Next chapter out in the next couple of weeks…I hope!**


	12. Lullaby

**A/N: Hey Everyone! Sorry for the epic wait but I was having trouble finding the footing for this chapter and what I wanted to keep in and what I wanted to glaze over. Also the title was hard to think of... I know lame excuse but I tend to use song titles and was having a hard time finding one so I eventually just picked one and said screw it! Hopefully everyone likes this update. As I said in the beginning I will be incorporating various plot points from the show but not following it storyline by storyline. I do however like and enjoy this current season so I'm heading into that territory. Some flashbacks in this one! As always reviews and PMs mean a lot! They keep me inspired and motivated and I just love hearing from you guys! Enjoy!**

Chapter Twelve: Lullaby

Charlie watched Addison as she leaned against the brick wall of the diner. The sun was slowly beginning to set and the glow as it cascaded over Addison's small and broken form showcased the weight of what had transpired only an hour ago.

 _'_ _Standing in the middle of the empty highway Addison watched as Charlie hid behind the covering of trees that scattered the side of the dirt covered road. "Addison…be logical here, your brothers, your father, they don't care about you. Honestly, think about it" Naomi stopped tilting her head to the side giving Addison a moment to process her words. "You have prayed to them right…and no one came…not even Castiel, that has to weigh on you…" Addison stared at the older angel in front of her, her eyes hiding away the emotion she felt, in truth the words Naomi spoke did hurt, they did sting and they were honest. Shaking her head Addison looked at the fellow angels standing to the side of Naomi, "it's not like that…" Addison spoke looking back at the woman "I know they love me, that if they were able to hear me they would have come…" stopping again Addison took a breath trying to convince herself of the words she just spoke "something must be wrong with the angel radio…". Naomi laughed, taking a step towards the young girl "nothing is wrong with the signal, your brothers…all of them, have been very busy; I will give them that, but if you only knew…" Addison watched as Naomi smirked before snapping her fingers and summoning an angel blade "just let me put you out of your pain and send you back home, you're a human Addie…you have no powers, no family why prolong the misery any longer" Addison took a quick look towards Charlie before back at the five angels that stood scattered on the dark and cold asphalt. Addison's hands turned into fist at her side, she would no longer believe the words Naomi spoke, she knew the woman was a manipulator, an angel that forced others to do unimagiable things because of thoughts and ideals she held. Charlie had talked her through her heartache over her brothers and father, made her understand, made her willing to wait until they met again to hear all sides of the story, made her remember why she did this, who she was fighting her, who she was trying to get back to, with a small smirk Addison looked back at Naomi "you're forgetting one very important thing…" Naomi looked at the small angel "and what is that" Addison let out a small chuckle "I was trained by the devil himself"_

"Cas…Cas…you with me buddy?"

Castiel opened his eyes and slowly glanced around at his surroundings, it wasn't until the worried green orbs of Dean came into view did he remember where he was

"you with me Cas"

Castiel nodded his head before gently pushing himself up and off the ground, using the large wooden table as support.

"what happened there…" Dean spoke placing a soft hand on the angel's shoulder. Castiel looked back at Dean before squeezing his eyes shut for a moment

"there was a force…a surge…an angel has died…many angels have died"

Dean felt like the air had been knocked from his lungs, the look in Castiel's eyes sending Dean's heart to his knees, looking at the hunter Castiel could sense what Dean must have been thinking

"she could not have been one of them…" he spoke gently seeing the instant relief in Dean's green eyes "…she is no longer an angel at this moment but…but something has happened, something strong, something cosmic" Castiel stopped and stood upright "I have to go visit my father and see what he knows before going to Heaven and assessing the damage"

Dean nodded and took a step back "keep us in the loop"

With a small nod Castiel was gone leaving only a small rustle in his wake

 _'_ _Naomi stepped over one of the fallen angel her eyes locked only on the girl in front of her. She had to admit she was taken aback for a moment, Addison had single handling taken down five angels. With a small smirk, Naomi came to a halt staring at the small broken angel "Addison I must say I'm very impressed with the display of fight you showed…even without powers you are your fathers daughter and growing up with all those brothers certainly taught you how to protect yourself." Addison gripped the handle of the angel blade and narrowed her eyes, she watched as Naomi came to stand in front of her, the older woman's eyes drifting down towards the weapon grasp tightly in Addison's small hand "but before you kill me…" she spoke her eyes traveling back up to Addison's blue orbs "let me show you…show you exactly what those brothers of yours have been up to in your absence" with cat like reflexes Naomi placed two fingers on Addison's forehead'_

Castiel couldn't understand how this had happened in the two months that Addison had been gone his family had crumbled into pieces that would never be able to be replaced. He knew that he had caused some of that pain and he knew that Addison would never forgive him for his part, he could only hope that she would someday understand. Then there was Lucifer…Lucifer had gone off the deep end the second month of Addison's unknown location and whereabouts and had done unspeakable things and in turn had gotten himself locked in the cage. Now here, Castiel stood watching as his own father was neglecting him, leaving him and his children to go and spend time with his long lost and forgotten sister.

"angles have died…they were under the charge of Naomi and whatever assignment she sent them on went badly and they were killed"

Castiel stared at his father "you don't seem very heartbroken"

"they were under orders, not mine but another's and to be honest Cassie…I'm tired, tired of being the one that has to care…has to worry…those angels knew what they were signing up for when they took their post…"

"I don't fully understand…"Castiel spoke tilting his head slightly

Chuck turned away from his sister who stood at the end of the long path a gentle smile on her face as she waited for him to begin the next journey of their story.

"this is something you don't need to understand my son" Chuck softly replied walking forward and placing a gentle hand on Castiel's cheek

"after everything that has happened, everything we have been through, have endured its time that I take a step back, time that I heal not only myself but this relationship…"

Chuck went silent watching as his youngest son took in his words, he watched as Castiel peered over his shoulder and stared at Amara "it is time that we try to rebuild the pieces of this broken puzzle"

"what about when Addison returns…what do I tell her…that you left, that you gave up"

With a heavy sigh, Chuck lowered his eyes "I never gave up…I just had to let go…" Chuck looked back up at Castiel a sad smile on his face "and it's time that you knew…"

Before Castiel could even ask he was transported back to his youth back to a time when his family was whole, when his life was simple, when there was peace and happiness

 _'_ _Castiel stood in an open field a few paces behind his father and brothers; he stood there watching as the older men talk in quick and hushed voices, and in the distance he saw himself and Addison playing with the various creatures his father had created that morning "no angel outside our family can know…" Castiel's eyes snapped towards his father who stood in front of Lucifer and Michael, while Gabriel and Balthazar keep a steady eye on the children "Castiel and Addison are my children and I created them, it was something that needed to happen…" Castiel narrowed his eyes his father wasn't making any sense "…after Castiel…there was a pull, a need, there was supposed to be another…a sister for this brother…a twin…" Castiel's head jerked towards the sudden laughter that erupted from the field and watched as his younger self chased Addison around the large trees and wildflowers "don't worry father…we will ensure no one touches them…now or ever…" Castiel turned at the sound of Lucifer's voice, noticed how his eyes shined with such devotion, such pride and such protection that it brought him back to when Lucifer was just that; a supportive, protective big brother and in that moment realized why Addison's absence was effecting him so. "Addison is the purest creature I have ever made and Castiel is the most loyal together they make the most powerful angel, not because of grace but because they are the closest to being…to being…"_

"human…" Castiel whispered as his eyes opened and he stared into his father's ocean colored eyes

Chuck smiled at his son "you and Addison are the greatest things I have ever made and I know that when she returns she will be in capable hands until I can return myself"

Walking towards Amara Castiel could now understand why this was so important to his father, spending time with and reconnecting with a sibling, especially a sibling that was hidden away, taken away and locked away for so long…his father deserved to have some happiness restored to his life, he needed this and Castiel wanted him to enjoy this time being a brother…

"take care of him…" Castiel spoke looking at Amara "he's going to be requested back in the same fashion he left…"

Amara chuckled and squeezed her brothers hand "of course…and he will be back…" Castiel smiled as his father came forward pulling him in close, stepping away Chuck smiled back "love you Cassie"

Chuck looked at Amara and with a soft nod took a small step back, before disappearing Amara looked back as Castiel

"after everything that has happened I want to say thank you…thank you for giving me a chance to have something I thought was lost…" she stopped, looking quickly over at Chuck with a sad smile falling to her lips "this wouldn't have been possible without you and your friends so for giving me back someone I thought lost, thought to never see again I want to give Dean and Sam the same gift…"

 _'_ _Addison stumbled backwards as she regained her bearings, her eyes snapping open as the visions left her. It felt as if the air had been sucked from her lungs. The images Naomi had shown her where of death and destruction, of darkness and sadness and it worried her how much had happened in the short time she had been gone. How had so much happened, how had her family become what she saw, how had it gone so wrong. "do you understand now" Addison jerked her head up and watched as Naomi gestured around her "your family…your brothers have had their hands full doing unspeakable things" flashes of angel blades and betrayal played in Addison's mind "and those Winchesters, too caught up in saving the World to worry about a lost angel" clouds of darkness and smoke drifted throughout Addison's eyes "why are you working so hard to get back to those who do not care, who have killed and been dishonest…" Naomi stopped and looked at Addison as the young girl got her footing, her hand shaking as it held firm to the blade. Looking back at Charlie, Addison shook her head a sad chuckle leaving her lips "I've been so foolish…." Addison mumbled causing Naomi to smile and take a small step forward, Addison watched as Naomi lowered her own blade, coming to a halt Naomi opened her arms "let me take you home" Addison walked towards the woman "I've been so foolish to believe…you" Addison whispered shoving the blade deep into Naomi's chest "my brothers did those unspeakable things for the greater good, because they were trying to help others, because they were hurting, because I wasn't there…and those Winchesters are the bravest men I've ever met and to stand her and listen to you tell me…try to make me believe that they were anything other than that makes me just as naïve as you…" and with those words Addison twisted the blade and Naomi glowed a blinding white. Charlie waited she waited for the light to dim and then slowly made her way towards her friend. She watched as Addison cupped her hands over the slight glow that was dimming from the dying angels body. She watched as Naomi went limp and the white light dismissed, she watched as Addison then stood and walked quickly towards each angel kneeling just long enough to place a hand over each of their hearts causing them to vanish in a blast of blue. Once the road around them was clear Charlie watched as Addison stood her back towards the red head "what…what did you just do…" Charlie asked gently walking slowly towards the broken girl "I sent them home…I used Naomi's remaining grace and sent them home…" Addison turned to look at Charlie "we should move, the force Naomi used to block us from view is fading…" reaching around Charlie, Addison picked up her bag "the diner is close…Castiel is close…Sam and Dean are close" Charlie saw the guilt, the pain, the fear, the sadness all flash in Addison's eyes so she simply nodded and followed the girl forward, ready to get her home…'_

Addison held the cell phone in her hand, trying to ease the beat of her heart, trying to ease the memories and guilt of what she had just done. Looking over she watched as Charlie stood a few feet away, a sad smile on her face. Turning away Addison stared down at the phone, this was it, this was what she had wanted for two months but now…now it was all happening to soon, she knew though that she needed this, she needed to be home, needed to be with her brothers, with Sam and Dean, with a shaky breath she clicked the phone to life. Finding Dean's name her finger hovered her the number, all she heard was the beating of her own heart, images of what Naomi had shown her flashing in her mind, squeezing her eyes shut she shook her head. Pushing off the wall she walked towards Charlie and pushed the phone into her hand

"you do it…you call…I can't…I can't…"

Charlie saw Addison on the verge of tears her mind and body failing her, cracking under the pressure, under the weight of what she has been through, what she has done. Bringing Addison over to back steps of the diner she slowly pushed the girl down kneeling so their eyes were level. Maintaining eye contact Charlie pushed ' _call_ ' and placed the phone to her ear, it only took two rings

"Addison"

 **A/N: Reviews Please. Love hearing your thoughts and feedback! Also still debating on who I should bring back for Sam and Dean obviously Charlie is out; might do Mary cause it is an interesting storyline but leave your choice and reasoning!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: hello fabulous readers! I'm so sorry it has taken so long to get this latest installment out! I had a terrible case of writer's block mixed with a horrible case of worry and anxiety with writing on top of dealing with some personal demons. I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself and want to make everything as well thought out as I can, especially when it's a creative driven project. With doing so I wrote this chapter three or four times only to delete it all. I took a bit of a break and worked on other things and finally decided I'm just going to write and let the words and feelings flow freely. This may have caused the chapter to seem a bit wacky in terms of jumping around from character to character, and time frame to time frame but I needed to get the reunion out of the way so we can move on to bigger, better and darker things (Lucifer is coming). I truly hope you like and enjoy this one. Let me know what you think! Reviews and PMs mean a whole lot and give me the drive to keep writing as well as knowing that you all like what I'm doing and the direction the story is taking! Thanks! Xoxoxo**

Chapter Thirteen: Cloud

 _'"_ _why do you love them…." Chuck looked over at his daughter her bright blue eyes focused on the vast world below them. He smiled and turned his own gaze to the land of blue and green "I love them because they are my creatures…my creations, I made them in my own image and I love them because they…." Chuck stopped, he closed his eyes and shook his head "because they are the best and worst parts of me…." Addison tore her gaze away from the white puffs that her father called clouds and sat up placing her small hands on her father's cheeks and turning his face towards her. Chuck feeling the movement opened his eyes, already becoming glossy and red "if you made them while using our own image and everything that is inside there" Addison lowered one hand and placed it over her father's heart "then there are no worst parts…just parts that need to be loved a little more" Chuck smiled, his lips trembling as he pulled his child onto his lap and engulfed her in a hug. How had he gotten so lucky, how had he created something so good, so pure, so loyal and honest…." love you cricket" he mumbled pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head'_

Dean paced back and forth in front of Sam's closed bedroom door. It had been four hours since he got the phone call, it had been three hours since he returned home with Addison and Charlie and it had been two hours since he was told the story of Addison's journey from Washington back to Kanasa. Dean knew he couldn't put this off any longer. With a heavy sigh, he pushed the door opened and walked into the dark room.

Addison sat in one of the chairs that were located around one of the large war room tables. She had just gone through her journey with Dean. He asked questions, demanded answers and refused to mention the darker themes of her experience. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from breaking down and when all was said and done she sat quietly, watching as Dean processed everything. After a few moments, she looked around the room "where is Castiel…where are my brothers, my father"

Dean sat on Sam's bed listening to the sound of running water, he replayed the words Addison had spoken, replayed how he refused to answer her one simple question, how he mentioned finding and getting Sam. As he waited for his little brother he held his cell phone in his hand, he had placed a call to Castiel and was shocked to get through. Once Addison's name was mentioned the phone line went dead and as he strained his ears he heard the light sound of wings and the scraping of a chair against the stone floor.

Sam walked slowly down the hall, his brother a few steps behind, from the dimly lit room he could hear the soft voices; one belonging to Cas, the other unfamiliar and the last…the last…. the one voice he had been dying to hear for the past three months. As the war room came into view, Sam stopped, he froze, he stood and listened to Castiel as he spoke softly to his sister. It took a moment but Dean placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"it's okay man" Dean whispered "it's still her…she's been through a lot, but it's still Addie…. it's still Addie" Sam nodded his head and wondered what Dean had meant by those words…

Walking into the room, Sam watched as Addison stood in front of Castiel, the older angel hung his head, his eyes shining with unfallen tears "I'm sorry" he mumbled his eyes rising to meet his sister

Addison sat staring at the polished wood of the large table, for once clean and free of disorganized papers and lore books. She was tired, lost and broken. After reliving her journey, she realized just how much she had gone through, just how much she had done…how much she had to do… _had to do_. Charlie watched her friend, watched as her blue eyes were distant and lost, watched as the sadness and disappointment still lingered there. It only intensified when Dean avoided telling her about her brothers and father. Charlie opened and closed her mouth a few times, wondering how to fill this gapping silence. Once she figured out something she was stunned back into quiet when a large man in a trench coat appeared.

Addison's eyes snapped away from the table when she heard the light fluttering of wings. Without a moment hesitation, she pushed her chair away from the table, hearing the roughness of the legs on the stone floor, and fell into her brother's arms. Her head pushed into his chest, going even deeper once his own arms encircled her small form. She felt him drop a kiss to the top of head before resting his chin where his lips had once been. She took a shaky breath, refusing to cry, refusing to show the hurt and pain she had felt and endured.

"why didn't you come"

Addison bit her lip and looked away, flashing her eyes over towards Charlie, who stood her eyes bouncing back and forth, from sibling to sibling. She hadn't meant to have that be the first thing she asked, the first words to be uttered from her mouth, but after three months of calling and praying she couldn't wait any longer.

Castiel was busy trying to figure out Lucifer's next move, he had just recently escaped the cage and was out in the world causing destruction and dismay. His phone rang; the fourth time within the past five minutes, with an annoyed sigh he answered the constant interruption "Dean this better be good…you know I'm trying to locate Lucifer…"

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose as he held the phone to his ear, he expected the call to go through to voicemail and was prepared to hang up and dial again when the rough and exhausted voice of Cas came through the speaker. Dean's eyes snapped towards the bathroom door as the water clicked off. Quietly he stood and spoke the one word that he knew would get Castiel here no matter how close he was to finding his brother

Castiel stood in front of Addison, his head dropping and sadness overtaking him. There was so much to tell his sister, so many things…terrible things that had happened since she had been gone and this was how it began, the unravel of everything…it started with that one question

"I'm sorry" he whispered, returning his eyes to his little sister, the sister he was told to always protect, the sister he loved and would do anything for, his sister that was like his other half, his heart and soul….

"we couldn't hear you…. nothing came through…" he watched as Addison shallowed and slowly nodded her head "we tired…believe me…we all did…but there was no information on your vessel…we had nowhere to start"

Addison nodded again, a shaky smile gracing her lips for a moment. It was in that moment, in that one little smile, that only lasted a fleeting second that Castiel realized that she thought they just didn't come…that they heard her and chose to ignore for cry for help.

"I would have…"

Castiel was cut off when Addison pushed herself back into his body, her arms wrapping tightly around him "I know…" she mumbled. In those two simple words Castiel lost his hold and he let the tears fall. Pulling away Addison looked at her brother with glossy eyes "I know…" she repeated. Addison took a step back and reached up wiping away a stray tear, another shaky smile on her face. Castiel then watched as she reached into her jacket and pulled out a navy-blue neck tie

"I told you when I came back I would bring you a tie and actually put it on correctly…" she stepped forward and removed Cas's old, uneven and tattered tie, placing the new one on, smooth and flat "there" she spoke softly "exactly how it should be"

Castiel ran his hand down the new fabric and smiled a watery smirk. Leaning forward and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. It was in this moment that Dean made his appearance known and all eyes snapped over towards the entryway. Addison looked at Dean for a moment before her eyes drifted over to Sam. She gave the hunter a once over, seeing the dark circles under his eyes and his wrinkled clothing. She may not have been an angel but she could still sense the worry, anxiety, fear and uncertainty rolling off him. Even with all those emotions, all the things that had transpired it was still Sam, he was still standing, still alive….

"Samuel…" she whispered

Sam watched as Castiel and Addison embraced, watched as she placed a new tie around his neck, watched as they shared a quiet moment. He rubbed the back of his neck. Dean then took a step forward, cleared his throat and watched as Castiel and Addison jerked their eyes in their direction. Once her eyes locked onto his, it felt like time stood still, he watched as her eyes traveled over his body, making sure he was still there. It was only when she quietly spoke his name…his name…his name, did the world flash into forward

Addison spoke his name, the name of the man she had gone through all of this for, the name of the man whom she would do this again for, the name of the man who she lost it all for. With three steps, she was enclosed his body. Her small frame being overshadowed by his larger one. Sam wasn't sure when it had happened but Addison was engulfed in him and he immediately returned the gesture. "you're still alive" she spoke, Sam couldn't help but chuckle "could say the same to you" he mumbled, he felt her let out a small laugh as well and squeeze him tighter. He kissed her gently on top of the head "I'm glad you're back" he whispered, his voice hoarse and thick with remorse. "I told you I would be…that I would always come back to you". At those words, he let out a breath and pulled her in even closer.

It had been a couple of hours, everyone was sitting around the large table, food and drinks passed around and it was slowly starting to feel normal. Charlie had been introduced to everyone and her and Castiel hit it off quickly

"you saved my sister, I will always be indebted to you"

Charlie could only smile and nod "she's a good kid…was just doing the right thing"

As the night wore on Addison couldn't help but wonder why her other brothers weren't here along with her father. When the conversation died down, everyone with small smiles on their faces, Addison turned to Castiel, needing to voice the question swimming in her head

"where are Gabriel and Balthazar…. Lucifer…. dad…. why aren't they here…can you call them" she pleaded towards the end her blue eyes looking directly at Cas

Castiel felt the question hit him like a ton of bricks, he could hear the pleading in her voice, the fear that maybe something had happened and here it was the other shoe as they say, this is the moment he was dreading. Who did he start with…how did he start…?

 **A/N: so, a bit of a cliffhanger. I have an idea for how I want to write Addison hearing and dealing with her family and everything that has happened while she was gone and it will probably be in the form of flashbacks. I truly hope you enjoyed this one, it was a little hard to write but I think it will be easier from here on out with more action and hunting it should flow more smoothly especially with Lucifer coming and a surprise return character. Anyway…. let me know what you think! Reviews mean the world!**


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